Mindlessly Ruining a Good Look

When I was in boarding school I had plenty of friends who smoked cigarettes.  They were allowed to do it at any age as long as they had permission from their parents.  There was one room, the butt room where they were allowed to smoke and it was a disgusting and fowl smelling room that never tempted me to visit.

I once asked a friend who was a smoker why she did not smoke outside rather than in the gross butt room.  She said that a lady should never be seen smoking outside and the butt room kept her allusion of being a lady.  I think that Jackie Kennedy, who attended a rival school to mine, followed this rule.  There are no pictures of Jackie smoking even though she was a reported butt addict.

Today I was at a the grocery and I saw a very elegant lady, dressed in a St. John Knit suit get out of her new Mercedes coupe.  She was at least ten years older than I was and I thought she looked so nice compared to me in my tennis shoes and khakis.  That was until I looked at her face and saw her jaw bobbing up and down, mouth half opened as she chew a piece of gum.   She mashed away on the gum with no idea that she resembled a cow chewing its cud out in a field alone.  If only she were alone.

Just as “ladies” of the last century were schooled in the no smoking in public graces it seems like chewing gum needs to have a similar campaign.  Today’s St. John lady lost all elegant points because of the little wad of gum.  Perhaps it was nicotine gum and she needed it because she is not allowed to smoke inside public places anymore, but it that was the case she needs to learn about the patch.

I wish I had been bold enough to videotape her to show you how unattractive the gum chewing was, but then I surely could be sued for deformation of character if this woman ever saw my blog.

My mother started smoking when she was young because her mother told her to have a cigarette to help curb her appetite.  I know some people who chew gum to help them not eat.  Listen, the calories are worth not making you look a barnyard animal.  Gum chewing is fine in the privacy of your own home or car; just remember to spit it out before encountering the public.  Just don’t spit it on the ground that is littering.