Smash Day

Losing weight when you have extra pounds is a good thing, right?  But where it comes off and in what order is something most people just have control over.  I seem to melt like a candle losing from the top down with a little bit of losing from the bottom up with my feet getting thinner long before my thighs.

One area on the top that seems to go fast are my boobs, which is not a bad thing because if they did not get smaller as the rest of me did I would probably fall over.  The real problem is that the fat disappears but the skin sticks around.  Now my boobs are like blueberry pancakes with one blueberry each.

Thank goodness for modern day shape wear that can hoist, hold, mold and cup my malleable breasts into a more pleasing shape and no one is the wiser that I could tie them in a knot and throw them over my shoulder like a continental soldier.  That is until today.

Today was my annual smash day or mammogram day to use the correct terminology.  If you are a man or a woman under forty you don’t have intimate knowledge of the contraption they use to smash down a woman’s breasts to the flattest possible shape to take pictures of them.  In the mammogram community my kind of soft tissue, stretched out and pliable breasts are a bonus for the smash tech.  She can lay them on out and lower the clear plastic smasher cover on me without any trouble.  The pictures she snaps are perfect first take.  In the mammo tech world I am the client that gets them back on schedule.

So hooray that today my flabbiness made someone happy.  I appreciate the tech’s comments that I was the patient of the day.  I know why and she did not even have to spell it out.  Thanks for not mentioning my soft breast tissue like bra fitters do when they are trying to come up with the right bra to act as scaffolding for my chest yet is still comfortable.

364 days a year my boobs are usually undesirable, but one day, the day dedicated to their health they are just right.  No matter what kind of breasts you have get them smashed once a year.  Don’t listen to those men who think you don’t need a mammogram every year.  Get one anyway.  Whatever shape you are in you need to take care of them.