Anger, the Most Useless Emotion

Someone who does not know me well recently called me a “nice person.”   I was a little taken aback.  I looked at her as if she had two heads and considered that she was being sarcastic then I thought a little more.  Well, to her I guess I was nice.

As a younger person my childhood family might not have characterized me as “nice.”  I think that some of them might have described my younger self as angry, but never nice.  The more I thought about it the more I realized that I am much “nicer” and less “angry” than I used to be.

As I was growing up somewhere in adolescence I learned to use humor in all situations, when I was mad, or being nice, but it took a long time not to appear angry.  I have no idea when I finally gave up anger as my go to emotion, but I certainly think my health improved since I did.  Don’t get me wrong, I can get mad, really mad, but I am less likely to take that anger out on anyone now so perhaps others don’t notice it as much.

For me anger is a big waste of time and can cause derailment in living a healthy life.  I was talking to a friend about someone who had publically said how much she disliked me.  He mentioned that I was awfully nice to this person.  I replied that I was not angry with anyone who did not like me; it really did not affect me, just them.

Letting go of things I can’t change or that hurt or make me mad has enabled me to just be more balanced in everyway.  I still can have a sleepless night over something that is going wrong, but I am much more likely to get over it or see a problem as less important more quickly now.

I’m sure that through my life I must have “eaten my anger” because no one gets to be as fat as I was without eating for a reason other than hunger.  Of course eating is something pleasurable so it soothed over one problem just to create another.  Now I try and deal with one problem at face value and not let it multiply and turn into many problems.

Anger is one emotion I have realized has very little redeeming quality in the life I live now.  I don’t have to fight with anyone to stay alive unlike cavemen.  I do try and look at the funny in situations that used to make me angry.  I have no idea if cavemen used humor but it certainly is a more evolved emotion, at least in me.  I am in no way completely anger free, but I must be fooling enough of the people that someone mistook me for nice.  I am waiting for the day that some thinks of me a quiet.  I probably will actually be dead when that happens.