Hurtful Childhood Games Reflect Real Life

I was talking to someone who had an experience where she was left out of a group and it did not feel great. I don’t think it was on purpose, but her feeling were hurt none the less.

It reminded me of something we used to do in preschool, which I hope they no longer do. In my pre school we would play “The farmer in the Dell,” And sing the song that went along with it. You probably know the song,

“The farmer in the Dell, the farmer in the Dell. Hi ho the Dario the farmer in the Dell.”

It started with a boy who was the farmer in the the middle of a circle, and the children in the circle around him would sing, “The farmer takes a wife, the farmer take a wife, Hi Ho the Dario the farmer takes a wife.”

The boy would pick a girl out from the surrounding children and she would then stand in the middle of the circle and the boy farmer would join the outer circle.

The “wife” would stand in the middle and the the children would sing, “the wife takes a child. The wife takes a child, Hi Ho the Dario the wife takes a child.” And the wife would pick another child from the circle who would now stand in the middle and the wife would rejoin the outer circle.

It went on this way with the children picking a cow, the cow picking a dog, the dog picking a cat, the cat picking a mouse and the mouse picking a cheese.

After the mouse picked the cheese, the cheese would stand in the center of the circle and the last line of the song was, “the cheese stands alone, the cheese stands alone, hi Ho the Dario the cheese stands alone.” There was something sad and shameful about being the cheese. You did not get to pick anyone else and you were left alone in the center. That was the end of the game. Not much of a game if you ask me. More of a popularity contest.

I told the person who was “left out” to remember what it felt like to be that one. No one wants to be the cheese standing alone. It may not be on purpose you were left out, or picked to be the cheese, but that does not matter in the end. So the best thing to do is to make sure you don’t do this to anyone else. Never let a cheese stand alone. Always be an ally to a cheese and stand with them.

The only way to change these long time situations of ranking people from Farmer to cheese is to not play these kind of ranking games. There is nothing redeeming about the farmer in the Dell, no one learns any thing, except a silly song. And for the record, I would always prefer to be the cheese than a mouse.