Recovery Day

We didn’t get home until close to midnight. That meant Russ fell right to sleep and I was up another hour winding down. Shay was still at her sitters so I got an uninterrupted night’s sleep well until 8:30.

When I actually got up I realized Russ had already left for work so I lazed around and read the mail and answered e-mails and calls that had piled up while I was gone. Eventually I got up and picked Shay up and stripped the bed and did a bunch of wash.

When Russ got home I looked at him for a few minutes before I realized his beard was gone. I had grown to liking his beard, although he should have had it trimmed before our trip. Now he looks younger, but I am missing that “hot Santa” look.

He said he could grow it back for me, which I already know takes barely two weeks. He looks younger without it, but cuter with it. I like having such a young husband, but also a cuter one. Such a dilemma. At least it didn’t take me more than a few minutes to recognize it was gone.

Tournament and Travel

It was the final Mah Jongg day at Lyford. We had a mini tournament and farewell lunch. It was quite exciting to have five tables forgo a beautiful Bahamian day to sit inside and practice the skills they learned this week. We had some newbie and experienced players and the winners spanned the spectrum. In the end fun was had by all.

Russ braved lunch with the ladies who are now not just students, but friends. I am especially indebted to Ruth E. For championing Mah Jongg at Lyford and always being the best hostess and friend.

We left for the airport and after being stuck in a pre-check line forever due to a bad conveyor belt we finally got through in time to get one the earlier flight to Atlanta. It is much better to hang here at the Delta club than just sit at the gate in Nassau.

Time to go home and get back to reality. Mostly happy to get back to Shay.

After All the Classes

Three days of classes, 24 in one and 48 in another, 18 hours of standing up talking, answering questions, telling stories, it’s time to party. The only problem is my the time we have the big party at Ruth E.’s house I am just exhausted.

The highlight of the evening is always Laura Peterson’s baked Mah Jongg tiles. This year’s version were sour dough crackers, make in her toaster oven. She makes a full set of painted tiles and they taste yummy too!

I do my best to stand up and talk to people, but eventually I just give up and hold court on the sofa.

Thankfully everyone is so nice and just comes and talks to me.

What a nice group of people. I will never tire of teaching here as long as they will have me.

Beyond Teaching

I have a big work week, but my social schedule is the real deal. Despite having two classes to teach today I was able to squeeze in a lunch at Princess Borghese’s house with Russ, Ruth E. and Janie Cadbury. Ruth E. had told me that Kika (that’s the princess to you) had the most fabulous art collection. I was so excited to be invited to come see a teensy bit of her art at her lovely home. Her orchids were also a sight to behold.

Ruth E. was right. Each work was more spectacular than the next. I wish we had hours to look at it and hear about how Kika had discovered each artist. We had a lovely lunch in her dining room of pasta and salad. I had to fight the need for a nap to go back and teach class in the afternoon.

Thankfully after my afternoon class I was able to rest for an hour before we went to dinner with Lisa and Will Mathis. I met Lisa in my first beginner class I taught here and instantly adored her. She is not a big Mah Jongg player, which matters little to me, but I am so happy when I get to see here when I am teaching at Lyford or in Houston. I always know I am going to have the best time with her.

It was a great pleasure to get to know Will who greatly resembled my father in his hospitality. He ordered all the best things for dinner and was a delightful host. We bonded over our shared love of sweet n’ low. But it is Lisa who give me the most laughs and that feeling like I have known her all of my life, when in reality I have spent just a few days and just a few hours with her. Not sure she feels the same way, but one day she will be playing more Mah Jongg with me.

One Student’s Happy Day

Day one of Bahama Mah Jongg. The beginners did a great job of learning the basics. They were a superior group, catching on to ever more difficult concepts throughout the class. A couple of students had already taken lessons and told me that they learned more in the first three hours of my class than they did with the multiple classes from someone else. Sometimes it helps to hear things more than once.

One student told me their teacher hovers over them going around picking their tiles for them. She loved that I made them pick their own tiles and learn to think for themselves. This has always been my mantra, “I will never pick your tiles for you. You pick them first and I will discuss it with you.” No one learns anything if you don’t pick your own tiles. I am in the business of teaching people how to think, not what to think.

So my afternoon class was a giant group of Beyond Beginners. So many returning friends makes teaching this class pure joy. I love to see how much people have improved. We also had a group of newbies. Poor things get thrown right into the fire with me with no idea of what it is going to be like.

So as we are working on a hand, one opponent made two exposures. I asked the class what hand the opponent was playing. We identified one and I pointed out that in that case their hand was dead. Then Debbie from Nebraska brought up a different hand I had not considered. She was right. That was the hand the opponent was playing! Debbie had pointed out something I had not noticed! It was a beat the teacher moment for her. She rightfully was quite proud!

I love when that happens. Nothing makes my students any happier than teaching me something and I love it. No one person knows or is right about everything all the time. Gold star day for Debbie.

The Calm Before

Sunday at Lyford is always restful for me compared to the rest of the week. It was a beautiful day and Russ and I got to hang out, enjoy the beach, eat good food, play games and needlepoint on the porch.

There were two highlights of the day. The first was going to a screening of Rising Hope a documentary about the people of the Mississippi Delta. We first learned about this film from Daria de Koning last year. Her film maker husband, Theo Avgerinos made this documentary. Since Russ was on the board of the Full Frame Documentary Fill Festival and I love docs we were very interested in seeing this film and were lucky that Theo and Daria are here for Mah Jongg week and screened it at Lyford.

The film introduces you to a handful of inspiring people living in the Delta and tells their universal stories of living in rural America. As I got to know the people through the film I found tears streaming down my face. Theo tells a well paced and compelling story throughout this beautifully shot film.

There is going to be a screening at Wake Forest on March 25 and I highly recommend seeing it if you are able. Hopefully there will be a wider release soon.

The second highlight of the day was the welcome cocktail party for Mah Jongg week. The turn out this year is overwhelming. I met lots of new students who quietly confessed fear about the class. I promised each of them they would be fine. No one should be afraid to learn a game.

It was so fun to see so many returning friends. I need a good night’s sleep because there are 14 tables in my teaching room. Its going to be wild, just the way I expect it at Lyford!

Lyford Surprise

Russ and I flew down to the Bahamas for my forth Mah Jongg week at Lyford Cay. At this point it is like coming to visit old friends. Everyone here could not be nicer to us.

Ruth E. Picked us up at the airport as she always does and gave us our social calendar. I am here to teach Mah Jongg. I am always surprised that it grows bigger and bigger. There will be new faces, but I really love getting to see the familiar.

We were barley here a minute and we had to change to go to a cocktail party. On the way there we learned that James Taylor was here to sing at a birthday party. The birthday of a famous person has been going on for days. Tonight the party was at the club and so it was decided we could also go listen to JT.

From the cocktail party Russ, Ruth E. and her sister-in-law Claire and I went to dinner. It was a nice change to get to sit outside and have dinner after having been stuck inside at home with snow this week.

From dinner we had been invited to another party, but the whole party moved to the pool terrace where we sat in the dark awaiting the James Taylor’s concert we were going to enjoy as non-guests of the birthday party in the tent 15 feet away.

We waited and waited and after and hour and fifteen minutes in the dark the Music started. James Taylor is the sound track of our lives and once he played Going to Carolina I was happy and left for bed.

I am not sure I can keep up three parties a night and still be able to teach Six hours of Mah Jongg a day. Somehow I will endure. As wonderful as Lyford is James Taylor makes it just that much better.

Stand Up To Bullies

When I was first appointed as a trustee at a school I was put on a committee called “learning environment.” I had never heard of this committee before and had no idea what it did or had done. Not a plum assignment as far as I was concerned. It was not my only committee, but since I was assigned to it I took it seriously.

I went to my first very polite meeting which was chaired by a nice women who was an upper school parent, had never been a trustee and only ever had students in the upper school. I had been through pre-school, lower school and at the time had a new middle school student. I had a different perspective.

If my memory served me, my first meeting was a report about how Chinese language classes were going. It was interesting, but at the end I asked what our call to action was concerning Chinese? Nothing. Trying not to be too much of a trouble maker, I asked what our purpose as a committee was? No good answer was provided.

I then asked when our next meeting was and what the topic was going to be. I was told we met twice a year and heard reports. The next one was about something similar to Chinese. It was then I asked, “When might we discuss bullying?” The chair asked why I brought that up. I said, bullying is a problem in middle school that actually affects the learning environment, so I assumed it would fall under our preview.

The chair took my question to heart and bullying became an issue we dealt with. No more nice reports were made at meetings and we started meeting with much more frequency.

The program this school went on adopt was called Olweus bullying prevention program. The program taught children to not be bystanders when they witnessed bullying, but to become allies. Bullies prey on the weak and count on others to be too afraid to become a victim of the bully themselves. Once kids were taught that there was strength in numbers and kindness toward the victim took the power from the bully. The bullying diminished when the bully was now the one on the outside.

Today Janet Mills, Governor of Maine stood up to a bully. We need more strong people to do the same. I am an ally of Janet Mills. I support Maine and the good people of Maine who elected this strong woman who was not afraid to tell the bully no. Other governors need to learn to Olweus method and stand together in strength and kindness.

Countdown to the New Mah Jongg Card

Every year I get the same questions about the new Mah Jongg Card…

“Why does it start on April 1?” Because stuffing all the envelopes takes time and they would rather do it in the winter months than during the holidays.

“Do you get to see it early?” No,I get my new cards at the same time as you, if you ordered on January 1.

“Why can’t I buy it from Amazon?” Because then it is counterfeit. And it is important to support the National Mah Jongg League and not Jeff Bezos.

I have had students practically come to blows when the cards come out and someone picks up someone else’s card, by mistake. You should write your name on your card, but there is a much more beautiful solution. My friend Kelsey Holding had been making card name stickers for the last three years. She customizes a beautiful sticker with your name and you place it on the front of your card. No one will ever be able to claim your card as their own.

Kelsey has an Etsy store called Bolding Designs https://www.etsy.com/shop/BoldingDesign

It is easy to order and well before your card comes you can have your sticker ready to go.

There are just a few of the many designs she makes. It also makes a cute gift for your Mah Jongg loving friends.

I will be sporting my new card cover when I make my North Carolina wide tour of New Card Classes. I hope to see you at one of classes when we get to learn all the strategies for playing the 2025 card.

Why I am Always Friends with the Receptionist

I got a funny call from someone claiming they were a Mah Jongg teacher. The women did not ask my name, but jumped right into her pitch. “This is (fill in some random Mah Jongg name) and I am wondering if you want to offer mah Jongg lessons at your club?”

My response was, “What club do you think you are calling?”

With a lot of doubt in her voice she says the partial name of a club I have been teaching for years.

I ask her if she meant XYZ club, giving the full name. She says, “Yes.”

I probe a little more, asking her how long she has been teaching.

She gave a vague answer.

I decide not to torture her any longer.

“This club has been offering Mah Jongg lessons for years, and I am the teacher.”

She stumbles and back tracks and only then asks my name. I give it to her and she says, “Oh, yes. I know of you.”

She hangs up. I look her up. I taught her Mah Jongg.

I called the receptionist at the club. She tells me she thought it would be more fun for me to tell her that the club already was well taken care of in the Mah Jongg world.

There are many people who are good mah Jongg players, that does not make them mah Jongg teachers. I have taught a lot of people how to play, who go on to teach. Teaching beginner mah Jongg is teaching rules. That is the easiest thing to do. Making it fun is the trick. Then teaching people strategy and how to think are the real skills for a mah Jongg teacher. That and being friendly with the receptionists and club managers.

Sick Away From Home

The saddest sound is a call from your child when she is sick. Carter is on a trip and is sick. Even though she is with Claire she still calls to tell me she is sick. And the worst thing is she is so far away I can’t do anything about it.

When she was 12 or 13 she went to Taiwan to go to school in the summer. She lived with a family we didn’t know. One day she got the flu. Everyone in her “family” had to go to work so she stayed home alone. So she called me from Taiwan.

Russ and I were on a trip to Seattle and Oregon. We were hiking in the middle of know where and my phone rang. It was the saddest wail I had ever heard.

Carter was sick. Nothing too terrible, but she just wanted her Mom. She was half a world away. There was nothing I could do, but tell her she would get better. Which she did.

A couple of days later I called her to check in and it was as if that sickness had never happened. She was 12 or 13. How quickly she snapped out of needing her mother.

It is nice that even your adult child still needs you when they are sick. And it still hurts my heart when I can’t do anything about it.

Happy Birthday to Suzanne

You have been my friend since we met our freshman year of college. You were always the good one and I was the naughty one. That was ok because I knew in your heart you could also be naughty, just not as bad as me. We were meant to be sisters.

You were always in on the joke. We have shared the same sense of humor even when others didn’t realize there was a joke. You defended me when I needed it and always knew I would have your back. I was your cover in front of obscure monuments and you were mine when the Mets were playing.

From the punch in your earlobe to the lost underpants you have been there for me.

I was there through all the years of Steve’s courtship, knowing he was the one before either of you did. I was your maid of honor and you were my Maiden. You are Carter’s God mother and I am the fairy godmother of all of yours.

Your family welcomed me in as the sixth sister, and kept me even when I got caught in “the room.” My family wishes we all looked like you.

We cried together over the loss of dear friends and told so many stories with those who we still love.

You brought me into your literary world and I brought you into the Mah Jongg world.

Through all the forty-five years of friendship I have always had you in my corner and I am here for you no matter what.

To the question “Will You still need me, will you still feed me when I’m sixty four?” You know the answer. From the salad bowl to the fruit cup you will always be my bosom buddy.

Happy Birthday Suzanne. I love you forever.

Watching Paint Dry

Some days are made for binge watching and needlepoint. Today was such a day. It started relatively productively with Russ and I hosting the newcomers class at Church. That means we go in early, make the coffee, bring the homemade baked goods and welcome everyone. No heavy lifting. It was the final class in this series and we have so enjoyed getting to know the new people considering joining Westminster.

Church was an up lifting service due to a good sermon and some spectacular music, we have new music director who has really changed things up to the point that I feel like we should sell tickets. That ended my day as far as doing for others was concerned.

I spent most of the rest of the day trying to make progress on my third needlepoint seat for my game table. It has such a huge amount of background and I have been grinding it out. I have probably only completed about a fifth of the giant canvas.

Taking a break from background, I mopped the kitchen floor and folded laundry. They were my fun breaks. Shay was not happy about the rain so she stayed mostly snuggled up with me watching the fifth season of some decidedly chick TV.

Nothing exciting happening around our house today. I hear it is going to get colder this week so I plan on continuing to needlepoint. Sorry for the lack of excitement. Needlepointing a neutral white is similar to watching paint dry.

The Best Mah Jongg BirthdayParty

My cute young student Emily has become one my favorites. She gathers many groups to learn Mah Jongg and she even gives Mah Jongg lessons as gifts to her loved ones.

Today she threw a birthday party for Sarah Lane that was a Mah Jongg themed party. No detail was spared from Emily’s talented eye and exquisite taste. She had a photographer there, but the party should appear in Garden and Gun. She invited me to come to run a tournament for those guests who already were Mah Jongg players and teach a lesson to those who were not.

I arrived early to set up and got to get a close look at the beautiful flowers, balloon arches, spectacular table settings with napkins embroidered with a red and pink Pagoda and Sarah Lane’s initial.

It was so fun to visit with the guests as they arrived since I knew most of them. I love my young friends and was so happy to see Meghan and Caroline. Everyone enjoyed drinks before we all sat down to an Asian inspired lunch. After cake we got up for the playing time.

I divided players into fast, slower and learning groups. The tables who were playing were competing for prizes. I was quite proud of Sarah Lane’s grandmother Mary Ann for winning the whole kittenkaboodle. (Her cohorts, known as Table -4 in my classes, would also be proud.)

I gave a very abbreviated lesson to the newbies and now they are ready for real lessons. Thanks to Edie, Emily’s Mom for helping out with the learners.

We were all so pampered by the staff, led by my favorite Pandora who always takes care of me when I teach classes at this club.

It was a most fun afternoon thanks to Emily. She thought of every detail and was a most gracious hostess. Happy Birthday to Sarah Lane.

Valentines Through the Years

When I was little Valentine’s Day was dominated by the shoe boxes we decorated to be the “mailboxes” our classmates put our tiny valentine cards into. You always brought a card for everyone in the class, no questions asked. Somewhere in the late sixties people started attaching lollipops or candy hearts to the cards, but nothing significant.

I still remember one card I got in fourth grade from Curtis Zelbisher. Since my last name was Carter and he was particularly found of Carter’s rubber cement he wrote on my valentine, in his practically illegible hand writing, “I want to stick with you.” Perhaps there was a schemer of rubber cement on the envelope.

In college one of the sororities sold carnations. They came in different colors, which had different meanings. People would fill out a little note and it was attached to the carnation with a string. I can’t remember exactly how they were delivered, but I do remember loving reading all the notes that came on all the different flowers, mostly from friends. One year I had a number of red carnations with just question marks on the notes. The red ones I think meant love, not the color I usually got many of. I never knew who sent those flowers. The person never revealed himself to me.

There were the years in Washington, DC where I was often catering someone else’s romantic Valentine’s Day. I had more than a couple of clients who liked to pretend they had cooked so I had to deliver food and put it in their pans. One man didn’t even have a two matching plates and two matching forks. I wonder what happened there?

When Russ and I were first engaged he gave me a camera lens for a camera I hated. He spent years trying to live that down. And did.

Now I am happy with the sweet cards he writes me. He always beats me with the first card of the day and more than one card to my singular card. Thankfully no rubber cement is included and it is so nice to know who my valentine is.

Happy Valentines Day to you all.

The I Believe in God Necklace

I was talking to a friend tonight and told him an old story about Carter. It is such a good story I thought I would share it here so I have it written down for posterity.

One day when Carter was about three or four she was riding in her car seat in my car as we drove through the drive up teller at the bank. A nice male teller helped me and Carter watched the whole transaction from the back. This was a time in the world when kids did not have devices or TV’s in the car so she took in the world around her.

As we drove away she said to me, “That man had a big necklace on.” He did indeed have a big crucifix on and I replied, “Carter, that was a cross that means he believed in Jesus.”

Without missing a beat Carter said, “I think I would like a ‘I believe in God necklace’.” Carter interchanged Jesus and God seamlessly and I did not spend a lot of time making a distinction for her.

“OK,” I said. Thinking that going to church might be rubbing off on her.

A couple of days later Carter and I were walking through Sears to get to another store inside the mall. Halfway into Sears we came upon a big jewelry display with lots of necklaces hanging on a spinny thing with an 80% off sign. I did not normally think of Sears as a place to buy any jewelry, but I thought it might be a good place to buy Carter the Cross she had asked for.

“Carter, do you want to look at these necklaces to see if you can find a “I believe in God necklace” you want like the Man at the bank was wearing,”

This seemed like a great idea to her. She looked intently at the many mixed metal necklaces hanging on the spinny thing and considered the many crosses carefully.

She gently took one off the display and handed it to me. I looked at and looked at it again.

“Carter, this is a dolphin necklace.” I said quizzically.

“Yes, it’s my I believe in God Dolphin.”

It all made perfect sense to her. So I bought her that dolphin necklace and she wore it religiously.

Give Your Mother and Early Gift for Mother’s Day

The best month of the year to learn Mah Jongg is April. The perfect gift you can give your Mom is to bring her to High Hampton to learn Mah Jongg. The new card is out and you will learn all the secrets and tips on the new card and have a whole year to get it right. If you are a beginner or a seasoned player I have a class for you at the completely renovated High Hampton in Cashiers.

I recently taught my first weekend of classes there and it was a truly magical place to teach and to learn. The room where the classes were held was comfortable and cozy. The staff was attentive and fun. The food was spectacular. And the rooms were luxurious.

I am never sure how a resort is going to do as the host for classes. High Hampton exceeded my every dream. The students came from far and wide and were a delightful mix.

I look forward to returning the last weekend in April, 25-27. The beginner class is being held in the morning so If you come from away, come the night before and enjoy all that High Hampton has to offer.

The Beyond Beginner class with be offered in the afternoons. The first day with be a new card orientation learning all the trick and tips for the 2025 card. The following two days will be hands on exercises to maximize your chances of winning through learning how to pick the right tiles to pass and picking the best hand. As always you will learn strategies to make yourself a better player and win more games.

Beyond Beginner is the class that teaches you how to think like a Mah Jongg pro. Most Mah Jongg classes teach you rules. This class goes beyond the rules to the strategies. No matter what level player you are you will never look at your hands the same way again.

This weekend makes a perfect mother daughter getaway or inspired early Mother’s Day gift.

If you want to join me in the mountains in April visit www.highhampton.com to make reservations.

Law Of Unintended Consequences

From what I understand from people who voted for the current administration, many were unhappy about the way things were going and wanted to change. I always say be careful what you wish for. So a change we got. We now have the disrupter in chief. Some say he uses disruption as a negotiating tactic. Fine if you are doing it on behalf of yourself, but for a whole country it has consequences.

I am in a Facebook group for Pawleys Island, basically because my parents lived there for 20 years. I had an office there with my Dad and spent lots of time working there. Not that we have a place there now, but I did spend my whole life going there, so I stay in this group. I have been reading a lot of posts from people complaining that their homes and condos have stopped being rented at anywhere the same rate they have been in the past.

These people are wondering out loud if this is happening to others and they don’t understand why it is happening. The response has universally been the same, all rentals are way down.

Now I don’t respond in this group. But what is happening is clear to me. For all the years I worked in Canada my clients and friends there would beg us to have meetings for them at our Pawleys office. They loved to come to Pawleys and Litchfield and the whole Grand Strand. They would fly in for the meeting and would then take another weeks vacation while they were there and play golf.

When the head of your country threatens your biggest trading partner and closet neighbor and friend with 25% tariffs out of the blue that pisses people off. What do pissed off people do? Stop coming to visit and spend money in your country. It does not matter that the trips were paused for 30 days. They still stay pissed off.

So for all those people who wanted a change, you got it. It is your loss of revenue, not the president’s. It is your state who will have lower revenues because of loss of tourist taxes.

Be careful what you wish for. You are the ones facing the unintended consequences.

To all my Canadian friends I send my personal apologies. Know I love you and would never endorse treating our best friend that way.

Nothing Burger

For all my readers who think I am so productive and get so much done today will make you realize how boring my life can be. It was cold today. Like so many Americans I was laying low after the Super Bowl, but not because I went to a party and over indulged. Just because everyone else was.

Then the rest of the day I cleaned all the toilets. I folded clothes that had been strewn around my room for a few weeks. I unearthed white dinner napkins from Christmas parties that had been washed, but not ironed and I ironed two thirds of them. I just got so bored ironing I could not be bothered to do the rest. I sent some emails.

I got in my soft clothes at seven and had to offload a bunch of things off my iPad so some new update could download tonight. It is ridiculous how much space a new download needs.

Other than that I have nothing to show for my day. I did make some new food for dinner so Russ would feel like I did something, but it was nothing special. Some days are basically nothing burgers.

My Super Bowl Thoughts

Russ is from Philly so we were going to be for the Eagles all day long. I am writing this in the third quarter so there will be no commentary on the game until the game is over.

I am here for the ads in the first 3 quarters. So far my favorite ad was the rocket Mortgage ad singing John Denver’s Country road. The line “Everyone deserves a shot at their dream” won the night for me. The visuals of all kinds of Americans is the story I was buying.

I feel like Brad Pitts Movie before the start of the game set the tone that American was made great by all kinds of people. “By lifting up others, that’s how we rise.” Hear that Washington. I also loved the NFL ad, “I am somebody.”

The grossest ad as the coffeemate ad. Don’t look it up.

The weirdest ad was the Pringles mustache ad. In all the years I have eaten pringles I never noticed the mustache on the can. Highlighting the mustache does nothing to make me want potato chips, in fact it does the opposite.

Mathew Mcconaughey’s ad for Uber Eats beat the door Dash ad for the best food delivery ad, but I am still going to go pick up my own food.

Meg Ryan and d Billy Crystal could recreate that scene from When Harry Met Sally all day long. Good job Hellman’s to get in on it.

I loved the Nike ad for women’s Sport, “You can’t win. So win!” Here that you bro’s trying to silence women. We aren’t going back and real men know that, are not threatened by it and love us just the same.

At last a word on the half time show. I did not understand a word of rap. I should have turned on closed captioning. I hope he took some shots at some bad people. I just don’t know what they might have been.

Thai Hot and Sour Soup at Home

One of the things I bought at Li Ming, was A jar of paste used to make Hot and Sour soup. So I made up a pot last night

5 T. Hot and Sour paste

3 quarts water

2 pints of straw Mushrooms

1 pound of peeled raw shrimp

Big bunch of sugar snap peas

4 small zucchini sliced

2 cans low fat coconut milk

4 t. Grated fresh ginger

2 T. Lime juice

2 T. Fish sauce

2 T. Brown sugar

3 T. Knoor Chicken broth powder

Mung bean sprouts

Cilantro

Rice

Chopped green onions

Put the water and the hot and sour paste in a stock pot and bring to a boil.

In a frying pan pan on medium heat brown the zucchini.

Once the stock pot has come to a boil add the mushrooms, sugar snaps, Knoor Chicken powder, shrimp and zucchini. Cook for two minutes.

Add the coconut milk, ginger, lime juice, fish sauce, brown sugar, and bring back to a boil. Then turn off the heat.

In a bowl put rice, sprouts, cilantro and green onions and Spoon the soup over.

Enjoy!

I went to Li Ming Today

It should come as no surprise I am not a fan of the idea of ICE detaining people who don’t look American. Before anyone bites back at me that they are only detaining criminals, you are misinformed and I don’t need to hear your propaganda.

I have lived in foreign countries, ones where I spoke the language and ones where I did not. Well, not well. Being an outsider is hard. It is less hard if you grew up with White American privilege. I fully understand the privilege I have just because I was born white, to married college-educated parents. My father was employed. I lived in the safest place and went to great schools. I am a WASP, so I never was discriminated against for my religion or where “my people” originated from. No one ever asked me, “where are you really from,” or “commented on my middle-Atlantic accent.” I never worried if we would have food, or if I would not have new clothes whenever I needed them.

If any of these things apply to you, you might also have white privileged and not really be able to understand the fear that Americans detained by ICE might feel. You may not have an American born child who worries that their foreign born parents will not be home when you get home from school. Or if you should go to your place of worship because ICE might be there.

I have very little power to do much about what ICE is doing, but I can support ethnic stores and show them that I support them, even if half the country does not. Today I went to Li Ming. They have great vegetables and wonderful Asian foods. I was the only Caucasian in the store. I don’t read any Asian languages so I always have trouble deciphering the ingredients in a jar. Putting myself in the shoes of what it must be like to be a non-English reader at Harris Teeter.

I also go to Hispanic markets and the Indian Market. I do this as a means of support for those communities. It is a small gesture, but one I hope helps in some way. I can’t change my white privilege, but I can show compassion, warmth and kindness to those who are newer to our country.

Unless you are Native American, we all got here because someone in our family came from away. Just because we might have come earlier does not make this country ours alone. We just get to live here and then, when we are gone it belongs to new people.

Newer Immigrants to the US are usually the hardest working Americans. If you ate a Salad today, you probably have an immigrant to thank for it, unless you grow your own lettuce. If you had a chicken salad an immigrant probably processed that chicken. Just remember that when the price of lettuce and chicken go through the roof because we don’t have people willing to do those jobs. I might grow my own lettuce, but I am not processing chickens.

When Mah Jongg Class Discovers Less Dana

I don’t usually tell my students about my blog. They have had enough of me after nine hours of class. But when a student announces to the class that they found my blog that is when the questions come.

I tell them that it’s called “less Dana” and then apologize that it is way more Dana than anyone bargained for. I explain that I have been writing it for almost 14 years every night before I go to bed. I don’t proof read, or edit, I just post because I just don’t have time to do something that is blog worthy and write a worthy blog. So I just write and post and it is what it is.

I am a horrible speller and I often use the wrong word. No one is reading this for quality writing. But I do try to add levity to the world, point out absurd shit, call out bad people, encourage kindness, share good recipes, explain complicated things in simple ways, share beauty and laugh at myself.

I am asked all the time, if I do things just so I would have something to blog about. NO. I literally forget I even have a blog sometimes, until I get into bed and then I think, “Oh crap. I have to write a blog. What happened today?”

I don’t write about everything I do, sometimes I have a big day and I don’t write about any of it, because it might be off the record. I might write about the most mundane thing or a big international situation. When you write a daily blog they aren’t all going to be that interesting.

Since my evening class was interested in my blog I took a photo of them and told them they would be in the blog. So here they are. My beginner class at CCC for February. They all graduated tonight. No one failed Mah Jongg. They were a wonderful class. Thanks for giving me something to write about.

My Lunch Bunch

I didn’t get a picture today which was a big mistake on my part. I am teaching at CCC all this week and my lunch bunch has come to have lunch with me everyday before class. Jill, Martha, Bit and Mary Jo all make my day shine brighter. Holly was supposed to be there, but getting ready for her family trip got it the way. I missed you Holly!

The friends I have made teaching are the jewels of this job. They come through for me when I need them. They make sure I am never alone. If I need a place to stay they take care of me. They cancel doctor’s appointments to have lunch, just not pedicure appointments.

We agree on many important issues and lament when the world goes wrong. I feel so lucky to have made these dear friends. Thanks for being my CCC Posse. You all are the best.

Mah Jongg is Hard at First

I’ve recently had a lot of students who came to me for Mah Jongg lessons, but they had initially learned from someone else. The someone else might have been a “teacher” or just a friend who said, “sit by me and I will teach you.” As I have been teaching them they tell me things like, “I never was taught this,” or “how could this have been left out when I learned the first time.”

Here is what I have to say about learning mah Jongg. Just because you don’t remember being taught something does not mean your “teacher” did not mention it. Learning mah Jongg is hard. There is a lot to take in. You might have been told something and at that moment you just could not handle remembering it.

I have learned that I have to mention many things over and over and in different ways before I am confident that a student might remember it. Part of being a real mah Jongg teacher is having a very precise use of language so that things are not ambiguous.

Learning mah Jongg is as much about the rules as it is about the exceptions to those rules. I find it is best to explain a rule and immediately talk about an exception if one exists. You can’t really teach someone how to play by letting them sit beside you and watch what you are doing because then the exceptions get missed. People construe rules from a situation that might not be true.

Building a foundation of understanding how to read the card and make hands is the best investment you can make. Just learning the rules will not make you a great player. Learning how to think about hands and how to make them is what makes someone an accomplished player.

And it all takes practice. You learn much more from your mistakes as long as you understand why they were mistakes. Just keep at it.

Welcome Back to The Food Bank Amy Beros!

You know I have had a 25 year long relationship with the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina. It started when my minister Haywood Holderness pointed at me one day and said, “We need you at the Food Bank.” He was on the board and recognized a kindred spirit.

So I did what he said, and got involved. I have had every kind of volunteer job one could have at the Food bank, from mopping the floor of the Durham Branch to being Board Chair.

One of my jobs on the board was in finding a new VP of Development when one of the best people in that job in a long time was leaving us. We did a nationwide search. It took months. I had lived through some terrible development people. I still know their names and their sins. I did not want to go backwards after having a good one.

My dear friend Felicia was also on this committee with me. Between the two of us we were tough on all the candidates. I remember being on a conference call sitting in my sunroom when we rejected all the finalists. “None of these people are good enough.” It had been almost a year of searching.

“These people are not as good as Amy,” who was a junior member of the team who, during the year of our search had grown greatly in her job. “I would rather take a chance on promoting her than restarting a national search and get someone else’s reject.”

Felicia was right on board with that. So the idea took hold of our group and Amy eventually got the big promotion. It was the best thing we had ever done. She turned out to be even better than her predecessor. She created a team of super stars. She was young, bright, hard working and dedicated to our mission and a really great manager.

After a few magical years she needed more to do. She took a big job at Feeding America. She got experience on the national stage.

This year when our President resigned after barely a year Amy was ready to come back. It was clear she was the right person to take the helm. Peter who had been the President for many years and Amy’s boss when he was there was a big cheerleader for her. So was I and Felicia.

So I am happy to announce Amy Beros is Back at the Food bank, now as the President and CEO. Congratulations to Amy! I know our state is in good hands.

Farewell to Dan Shannon

Today we celebrated the life of Dan Shannon. Dan passed away in September after suffering from a brain tumor that he fought valiantly. He left behind his loving wife Ellen, three fabulous kids, two grandchildren and one on the way and as Ellen told us, a trifecta of kids-in-law, along with so many other family and friends.

After only a few hours sleep I drove home this early morning because it was important to me to go celebrate Dan’s life as I adored working with him at Durham magazine. Russ and I arrived at the Carolina Inn to a packed ballroom of so many friends and family, many of whom had traveled far and wide to get there.

True to himself, Dan had planned his own service right down to the last word, which was his, read by Ellen. He asked three people to speak, Rory Gillis, who was just a very young woman who came to work at the magazines when I was there and now is the owner of the whole Shannon Media outlet, which she renamed, much to Dan’s chagrin. Rory was funny and sweet and told stories that made me laugh hard and tear up.

A friend of Dan’s from Westport spoke next, despite not liking to speak in front of crowds. Dan had asked him while he was still alive. The friend said he didn’t necessarily feel comfortable doing that. Dan told him to think about it. In the most Dan way, we called back a couple of days later and said “The family has decided, you’re going to be a speaker.”

“So much for getting to think about it.”

That rang so true to me. When I met Dan it was because he had called me into this office after the first issue of Durham Magazine came out. My friend Nata had told him he should hire me. I did not know this when I went to visit him. I thought he just wanted my thoughts on the first issue, which you know I gave freely.

I told him what I thought of the magazine he told me he wanted to hire me. After a short back and forth about me not looking for a job he insisted I work there. “You have no idea if I can write, let alone do anything else.” Remember, we had just met!

He said, “You have a strong voice. That is all I need.” I thought he might be hiring me to read the magazine out loud.

The last speaker today was Dan’s youngest, son Drew. Drew was a kid when I worked with Dan. We used to talk bout raising kids during those early years. It was beautiful to see how great Dan’s kids turned out. Ellen gets a lot of the credit, but being a father was clearly what was most important to Dan.

Russ and I had sat at the service with Matt, who had been hired as the chief Editor of the magazine a couple of years after I started. He was a kid. It took him a while to get that I had no designs, or skills, on his job. I watched him grow under Dan’s tutelage. Dan treated most of the young people who worked at the company like his children, since most of them were young enough to be his children. Eventually children grow up and move on.

Right after the service Matt and I went to the front of the room to see Kevin, the art director, who came to the company a year after me and stayed. Carl who was there before me and left before Matt, and Rory. Rory said we need a picture of the OG of Durham magazine. I wished that Bri our Photographer was there because she was there before all of us. I also missed Andrea who was the editor after Matt.

I am thankful Dan was good at gathering talented smart young people and one old one, me. We all did not always agree on everything, but I think we all learned plenty and I loved them all. Especially Dan. Go with grace Dan Shannon. It was clear, you were loved.

High Praise for High Hampton

The first time I go to a new location to teach Mah Jongg I never know exactly what to expect. If you know me you know I am very prescriptive, I like things done correctly and I want the best experience for my students so I don’t like to leave anything to chance. I have been teaching Mah Jongg long enough at such a wide array of locations that I have seen some real shit shows as well as the most class acts.

So many things are out of my control, yet if something goes wrong I still feel responsible for it, even if it has nothing to do with me. I have always lived by the saying, “don’t Expect people to be mind readers.” If I want something done a certain way I tell them up front and explain why. I don’t believe in wishful thinking, you are always disappointed then.

Today was our last day of Mah Jongg classes at High Hampton. From my point of view everything was a resounding success. The inn it’s self and the new renovations is spectacular. The spaces are large and warm and welcoming and cozy all at the same time. The room where Mah Jongg lived was perfect, especially with the table lamps.

The staff, from Emma the bellhop to Leigh Anne the Events Manager and all the Food and Beverage folks felt more like friends. Suzanne comments tonight that she genuinely felt like people were happy we were here. Everyone remembered what we liked to drink, right down to my extra lemons. If we were running short on time, they rushed to get us lunch. Nothing was ever an issue, there was no need for negotiation, the answer was always yes, with a smile. It was true southern hospitality with no “bless your heart.”

The food, oh the food. I am so thankful that I was here with dear friends, Suzanne, Jan and Tracy, because we shared all our food and ate off each other’s plates. Tonight we had this farewell dinner and I wish that I could have spread it out over three days because each part was a treasure. And don’t be misled by the title of the menu, no Dana Lange was served.

As usual, I loved all the students. It’s takes three days with me for them to drink the koolaid I’m selling. By the third day they understand the madness that I’m trying to teach them and why I want them to think about things in new and different ways. I have heard that some have already signed up to come back in April to my next class here the weekend of April 25.

I can’t wait to get back. Usually the second time is better than the first. I am to sure that is going to be the case though as this was also just a fun time with Tracy, Suzanne and Jan. We told so many stories and laughed so hard. I thought Suzanne might pee in her pants when Jan told the story of her middle school son telling his social studies teacher and class of students that their family motto was “It’s five o’clock some where.”

Tonight after all the mah Jongg was packed up and we were hanging out in the lobby talking Suzanne and Tracy gave me a present and a card. The front of the card said, “Get Old Later.” Inside Suzanne wrote, “This was our mantra way before it was a card.” That’s the truth. We will always be young together, learning and laughing is how we stay that way.