Christmas is Coming

T’was the night before December first and all through the house, every surface is glittery, except for my spouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, but fresh greenery is needed with no time to spare.

My child was my helper, to move boxes and bags, along with her father whose spirit just lags.

But I put out every Santa and standing tall cracker, which gave him a smile which I should have shellacered.

The tree is the hardest thing to move in, Carter suggested we should hire some men.

But before you could say it, it stood tall as could be. The greenest fir ever, our little ‘ole tree.

I went right to work hanging snowmen and stars, it took more time than going to mars.

The angels they sparkled, the balls how they glowed, getting Christmas up now so I don’t call a code.

The villages rose from the side board and tables, the glass ones, the houses and gingerbread maple.

The needlepoint garland was chock full of stitching, awaiting the first party on Monday there’s no time for bitching.

The wreaths and the ribbons, are hung here and there, it’s time to start celebrating the month that I share.

So December will come with the light of our savior, I will feed all my friends all the best flavors.

Dog are Not Good Decorators

There are certain things dogs are good at. Doing the dishes, at least the pre-scrape, being cute, acting regal. Then there are things dogs are not good at…Helping put up the Christmas tree, putting hangers on ornaments, tying bows, hanging stockings. When it comes to the day after Thanksgiving Shay is no help whatsoever since Christmas throws up around here. It takes more than one day. She hasn’t helped so far. She mostly stays out of the room I am working in since she gets no cuddles.

But the second a crystal ornament, carried home from Prague five years ago, jumps off the tree and shatters into ten thousand pieces she is right there to inspect, even when commanded, “Do Not Come Up here!”

Thankfully her other Mother Carter and father Russ jumped into action and got the broom and shop vac to clean up the disaster because it could be terrible for Shay if she stepped on those shards.

The tree is still not complete, but I hit a wall at 5:30 today and the rest will have to get done tomorrow. That’s when a second deep vacuuming will take place and Shay will be allowed to come and stand beside the tree and look like she had something to do with it.

No Fighting for Thanksgiving

For most of my life Thanksgiving was my father’s big holiday. There is nothing he liked better than to cook large, I mean giant, portions of rich food and feed everyone. Then he would host lots of my friends and their kids for a big day at the farm the day after Thanksgiving and we would all go to the Mexican restaurant near his house where he was treated like a King because he was the best tipper in town. We hardly ever fought at the Mexican restaurant.

Since he has been gone the last few years Thanksgiving has taken on a calmer and more serene vibe. Carter does most of the cooking until the last minute stuff when I step in to get everything finished at the same time.

When my Dad was alive we often would have some big fight at the dinner table. An unnamed relative would say, “You aren’t going to like this, but I am going to say it anyway.” I would beg, “whatever it is, don’t say it.” And then be ignored and the fight would break out.

Despite that history we went back year after year anticipating a good Thanksgiving due to some kind of amnesia. Some years I would invite new friends who had no relatives to annoy them, in the hopes that their presence would temper the fighting, but no, it would still break out.

This year instead of fighting I had medical forms to fill out with my mother about her wishes in terms of potential catastrophic medical issues. Feeding tube or no feeding tube? An interesting question right before the big meal. Considering how little my mother eats a feeding tube would not be necessary.

We miss my Dad, but quite frankly Thanksgiving is a much more pleasant holiday. Nothing bad was brought up and no fighting took place. Given the state of our country I find this to be a Thanksgiving miracle.

Cooking Mah Jongg Wicked

In exactly that order. I didn’t really have to cook. I made cranberry yesterday, but Carter has most of Thanksgiving under control. She made the hominy corn pudding, prepped the vegetable for the stuffing and spatchcocked the turkey and dry brined it. She was a boss cutting out the back bone and breaking the breast bone. I was happy to watch and instruct when needed. She also made turkey stock from the back bone, neck and wing tips so we are ready to make gravy tomorrow.

She did all this after working today. I cleaned while she worked, but after the cooking we played Siamese Mah Jongg. It is always good to have such a great opponent.

We went to the 6:30 showing of Wicked part 1. Carter had bought the tickets last week and there was not a seat in the place. Thank goodness for assigned seating at silver spot. We loved the movie. The singing was fabulous, but the costumes were my favorite part. They have to win the Oscar for them. Two of the best songs, “popular” and “defying gravity” were in this part, but “changed for the better” must be in part 2 which will not come out until next Thanksgiving. I guess we know what we will be doing.

It was the perfect day before Thanksgiving. Nothing Christmas was done all day! Happy Turkey day to all of you.

Thankmas

In the spirt of Thanksmas I put up the needlepoint garlands today. I did not count how many ornaments went on them, but it is over 200. I love getting a chance to think about where I was when I stitched each of them, or who stitched the ones I have received as gifts.

I felt vindicated in pushing Christmas up a little when I got our first Christmas card today. It was from Carter and Claire. The photo was a cute one of them laughing while on a trip to Germany to attend Claire’s brother Robert’s wedding to Andrea.

It was a memorable trip for them and I love that they captured that special time and made it their first Christmas card together.

Carter and Claire’s card breaks the decades long streak the Dunks have held as being the first card we get every Christmas. It has always come on the Friday after Thanksgiving and we will see if they stay true to that schedule.

I stopped sending Christmas cards years ago because I write this daily blog and it seemed redundant to send a card when anyone who really wanted to know what we were up to could read one or two of my blogs. Some of my friends are faithful daily readers and when I see them I don’t have to waste anytime talking about me and we can just talk about what they have been up to.

I feel that way when I get Christmas cards from friends I don’t see often, but love seeing what they have been doing each year.

I promise that tomorrow will be all about Thanksgiving prep with no talk of Christmas. We have a small celebration this year so it won’t take us long to get ready. Carter and I are going to see Wicked tomorrow night. Doing a pre-Thanksgiving movie rather than post so I can get right back to Christmas decorating as soon as the bird is put away. I look at next year’s calendar and we are going to be in for the same scenario but with one more day between Thanksgiving and Christmas. We have to wait until 2028 before we have a five week time between Thanksgiving and Christmas. At this point 2028 is looking like it could be a very good year.

Christmas is Slipping In

It was another very early morning, but for a great reason. Carter flew in from Boston arriving at 8:00 this morning. I was so excited I woke up at 5:30. That and Shay needed to go out she was so excited.

Carter’s flight left Boston twenty minutes early, thus landing equally early. I was a few minutes late since she was so early. She had a full work day, but we did get to eat lunch together and after work she helped me put up the new tree I had been painting all the Christmas balls for.

Sadly I dropped one on the tile floor and in broke. Thankfully it was my least favorite one. After we put the balls on Carter hung the ribbons on this tree as I made them. She was very nervous about placement since she has a lifetime trauma of my Christmas decorating instructions.

We both are in a better place than when she was four. I let her decide on her own where the ribbons would go, only giving advice when she asked for it.

She has definitely got my Christmas genes as she and Claire already put their tree up and have done all their Christmas decorating. Carter said she was quite shocked that it only took a little more than an hour. She has been sensitized to the Christmas throwing up at our house taking three days.

I did decide yesterday that I just can’t wait until after Thanksgiving to start, so tomorrow I will put the needlepoint garland up. It takes a good amount of time and no one tires of looking at it. I just haven’t told Russ. If he says anything I will say Carter said it was OK.

Reality Ministries Talent Show

Many years ago I was introduced to Reality Ministries by Beth Sholtz. It is a program for adults with intellectual differences who come there for fellowship and a place to be friends. I later went on to write a piece for Durham Magazine about Susan McSwain the founder. She was and continues to use to be a kind person who believes everyone on earth has great value and belongs.

Staff, Volunteers and participants are all called by the same title, FRIENDS. There are no distinctions as everyone is a worthy person. My Dear friend Lynn has been a Friend at Reality for years. It is the perfect place for her to spend her time because she has never met someone she did not love and everyone loves Lynn.

Tonight Reality had its big talent show. This show is put on by all the Friends. It was held at the DPAC and had almost 2,000 people in attendance. I went with Lynn so I got to sit in the third row with many other friends from Reality.

As Lynn was a greeter I sat along in the middle of the row with the perfect seat. A few minutes after I sat down this man who was about my age came along and sat two seats away from me. Since I knew the place was going to be packed I invited him to sit right next me to and struck up a conversation with him.

His name was James Charles. He had been a friend at Reality and might still be. I didn’t quite catch that part of his introduction. Lynn eventually came long and I introduced them and we all had a great time watching each of the act. There was piano playing, singing, dancing, comedy and skits.

James particularly liked when any Micheal Jackson song was preformed. The whole audience joined in the finale of “We are the world.”

Reality is such a special place. Anyone who visits walks away feeling happy. Finding things for adults with any differences to go and do and make friends and belong is missing in our world. I always smile whenever I go there and the talent show was no different.

If you feel the inclination to help Reality here are a few ways to give from the show program. If you want to volunteer or visit I can hook you up with the wonderful people there. I promise it will make you life happier.

I’m a Mess

Last night I went to bed sometime before 10. Not sure exactly when as I just passed out. I woke up and went to the bathroom and I felt like I had gotten plenty of sleep so I looked at the time. It was 1:06. Not plenty.

I lay back down and did my best to go back to sleep. After an eternity of being awake I played wordle and my other games on darkness mode so as not to screw up my system. It was 2:07. Then I put my phone down and tried to go back to sleep again. Still awake at 3:30 I decided to get up.

I snuck up to my elf painting area and did some Christmas painting and watched a hallmark Christmas Movie. At 6:00am Russ came up and asked what in the world was going on. I was a mess at 6:00 am and I continued to be a mess all day.

I make a giant pot of Beef Bourguignon and Brussels sprouts and butternut squash salad as I am bringing Holley and her family dinner tomorrow. Those are not quick dishes, but my tired ass was moving very slowly. At one point when my biggest Le Creuset was in the oven I lay down on the sofa for a quick 30 minute nap.

The oven timer woke me so I had to get up to continue on to the next step in the recipe. Eventually I hit a wall and Shay and I took a real nap in bed. It wasn’t close to making up for the 1 Am. I had to get up and shower to go to Sam and Ella Wolman’s celebration of their wedding last month.

I rallied enough to go to the party, see many friends and wish Tom and Lee congratulations. I hit another wall and Lynn came over and said it looks like you are planning your exit. Nothing like my great pal reading me perfectly.

Now I am doing my best to stay awake until a reasonable hour so I don’t wake up again in the middle of the night. I was productive at 3:30 in the morning, but not at 11:30. Being a mess does not suit me.

The Holiday Season Officially Started

Last night I finished my last class of the year. It was a beyond Beginner class of lovely women in Cary at Home for entertaining. I adore teaching there because the family who owns the business could not be nicer. As it is not a private club anyone can come and take lessons there. This is great for the single people who call me asking to get into a class. I will be back at home for entertaining in the new year.

I purposely scheduled myself time off between Thanksgiving and new years. If I don’t block time out on my calendar I would end up teaching everyday. As much as I love it, I also have other interests too.

So my holiday officially started today with a Friendsgiving lunch at my Neighbor Mary Eileen’s. It was a wonderful gathering of friends for a quick lunch. Mary Eileen had invited us to come dine outside, but she decided at the last minute it was too cold, so we ate in her beautiful dining room. I think she had us over just so she could use her pumpkin soup bowls. I am not mad about it.

After lunch it was back to my painting sweatshop trying to finish up my Christmas decoration creations. I am very happy how my Christmas balls turned out, so I am making more for gifts. I also have almost finished my Nutcrackers. If I had know how well they would have turned out I would have bought more blank wooden Nutcrackers. Of course they are sold out now. It’s Ok. I really don’t have time to make more than the 12 I have already painted.

My deadline for this project is Sunday and I have a dozen more things to do this weekend. See the Holiday has officially started!

The Last Of It

We may get frost tomorrow. It has been 276 days since our last frost. That was in February. That is a long ass time between frosts. Who needs winter clothes anymore?

The only thing left in my garden are pepper plants. They miraculously survived without rain for months and no tending from me. Once we leave for Maine I am done with my garden. This year I left on August 6 and here we are more than 3 months later and we still have peppers.

Russ went outside in the dark with a flashlight to do the final harvest, since he eats peppers every morning in his breakfast scramble he wanted these last ones. It will be at least six months before I can grow him new ones.

Stay warm tomorrow. It may be. Little colder than you are used to.

The Search for A Recipe

I hate when I remember eating something at someone’s house that I loved, but not remembering where I put the recipe when they gave it to me. The last time I ate it was probably close to 15 years ago. I can’t ask the person for the recipe again because it includes meat, which they gave up long ago. So the chance of them even having the recipe is small.

I never used to write recipes down, because I create as I cook, but then people would ask me for a Recipe it was much harder to remember what I put in it a few days after the fact.

For some reason I am craving this tomato, beef and rice soup which was kind of sweet and sour. I am sure I can just experiment and figuring it out, but the original was so perfect I would rather find the recipe.

It’s funny how food goes in and out of style. Not Mac and cheese, but when was the last time you had chicken à la king? I don’t think I ever need to eat chicken à la king ever again. Maybe that’s why it went out of style.

The internet is only so good for old recipes. Since the internet is only 20 + years old it does not have a lot of old recipes unless people have made them recently. I guess I am going to have to do the old fashioned thing and look at my old cook books and see what I can come up with.

So much research, so little time.

Princess and the Pea

I am a total princess and the pea when it comes to my bed, the light in my bedroom and the noise level. The noise I can’t control so thankfully I live in a quiet place.

The bed I can control and am always judging other beds I sleep in. Is it more or less comfortable than my bed at home. If more, what kind is it, what brand sheets are they using, what kind of pillows? So many variables go into making the perfect bed. I really should travel with at least one of my pillows and I don’t. Sometimes that is a horrible mistake. I try and put different kinds of pillows in my guest room so a guest might find one or a combination of pillows they like.

The big thing I have finally found a solution for is errant lights that remain on all the time. I am not talking about lamps, but those tiny bright lights on electronics that tell you they are on, or the worst offender, the clock on the cable box. I have had a whole nights sleep ruined by a smoke detector light glaring at me from the ceiling right over my bed in a hotel.

What is the purpose for these lights other than to tell you they are constantly on? My smoke detectors beep when the battery needs changing, why do I need a laser red light blasting me through every night?

In my bedroom, the security system light, the Alexa light, the cable box and one of my Apple chargers all emit lights that for years annoyed me. I finally found the solution. A company made little decals that greatly reduce the light I can see. One of the red lights on one device was so strong I put two stickers on it and that did the trick. Interestingly when I used my iPhone to try and take a picture of how I can’t see the clock on the cable box with the sticker on it, I found that the IPhone can see through the sticker. How interesting. So these stickers are just good for humans.

That’s all fine. The cutting out of these annoying tiny lights has been a game changer. Of course none of these things bother Russ. He could sleep on a bed of nails with sand paper as sheets, a WWE match blaring on the TV and he would sleep right through it. Turn the TV off and he would wake right up. Thankfully my covering up the offending lights does not bother him. Now I have to remember to take these stickers on vacation.

The Car Wash Trick

We need rain. I think the whole East coast needs rain. So I did what I usually do when I need it to rain. I went and got my car washed. Since my car lives outside, getting it washed means it gets dirty faster, especially if it rains.

There is one flaw in my plan. I now have unlimited car washes from rip tide, formally the Durham Ritz. They are the best car wash. I used to like when they were full service, but I find the do it yourself way it is now very satisfying. The reason this is a flaw is if it rains I can run my car back through the car wash for free. So the magical power of washing my car to get it to rain might have disappeared.

I am sorry my father is not alive to enjoy the unlimited nature of the monthly car wash pass at Rip tide. He would have been in heaven, where he might be now, but that’s not guaranteed. He was a man who loved a good car wash. I would say 27% of my childhood weekends were taken up at the car wash with my Dad.

If he had a pass to the car wash he would bring the car there every three to four days. He would say it’s not good for the car to go everyday, even though he would want to.

He was also a nut about the weather and that is probably how I came to be superstitious about washing the car and getting it to rain. Of course my Dad saw the rain as a bad thing, but climate change had not taken over in the 1970’s. We were much more concerned with people throwing trash out if their car windows at Indians, (who we now know are native Americans).

Native Americans, never appeared in cars in the 1970’s, they didn’t need to, they had rain dances. I guess that is what I need now. A rain dance by a real Native American. The car wash just isn’t doing it.

The Stolen Holiday Week

In a perfect world Thanksgiving would be this week. Sadly this year Thanksgiving is almost as late as it can be. The problem with this late Thanksgiving is it gives us one less week between Thanksgiving and Christmas. The loss of that week is tough on me.

I still have as many events in December as ever, but I don’t have that extra week to decorate, cook, shop and wrap. I know that technically I still have the same number of weeks in the year, but physiologically the Christmas season is from the day after Thanksgiving to December 25.

I am trying my hardest to get ahead of the game. I spent all weekend painting ornaments. I am working on my party menus. My wrapping paper has arrived and the gifts are coming in. That does not mean I have figured out what I am getting everyone, let alone the gifts I need for parties or hostesses.

Next year is only going to be one day better. I am going to have to start planning for next year now as the pressure of this short season can not be forgotten.

The Perfect Gift

I got a message from a random man I did not know on Messenger. I don’t always even look at those messages as they so often are some ex-military, older, good looking in the photo widower. Yeah Right. I already have my perfect husband. Stop trying to spam me.

But this man’s name did not seem like a fake man so I opened it. He was trying to find me as he was looking to buy his wife Mah Jongg private lessons. What do you get the woman who has everything? Private Mah Jongg lessons sounds like a great idea.

I gave him all the information and then made him a certificate he can give his wife to prove that he actually thought of this gift and bought it in advance.

I wish more husbands were this creative. I had not taught his wife so he really had to do some research to find me. He apparently did a lot of due diligence on me before he contacted me.

My husband, who is an excellent gift giver, often thinks of an idea at the last minute and makes his own gift certificate and hopes that it all works out. It usually does, but sometimes I think his idea is too extravagant and I don’t redeem it. Thankfully he had not actually paid for it in advance.

If you want your husband to give you private lessons, or a small mah Jongg party with me as the guest teacher, have him contact me. I think I am going to open more messages from strange men before the holidays, but if they include a photo I am going to delete them.

Recovery Day Soup

Russ picked me up at the airport at midnight last night. I saw my sweet girl Ellis waiting to pick up her boyfriend Kevin there at that late hour also. Young people can fly in then and be OK. Old people like me need to recover.

Shay and I slept until 10 this morning. I might have slept longer, but my phone pinged. Probably my phone thought I should get up and not sleep the day away.

I lazed around more than I should have. Talked on the phone for a very long time to my friend Jan and eventually got moving and went to the store. Russ had lived like a hermit while I was gone. He ate only old food I had left him and did not leave the house but once to go buy Shay some hamburger. Poor thing is so skinny we need to cook food so she eats enough. She is particularly happy with this hamburger.

I asked Russ what he wanted me to cook for dinner tonight. He gave me a New York Times recipie for a tomato, tortellini, sausage and kale soup. It sounded delicious, but a little heavy as it called for heavy cream. What in the world. It also only had onions and kale and I thought it could handle more vegetables. So I modified the recipe and was very happy with the outcome. I am sure I liked the lightened up version better than the heavy cream one. I did add double the amount of tortellini so there is the trade off.

1 lb hot Italian ground bulk sausage

2 onions chopped

2 delicotta squash, seeded and chopped

4 carrots, cleaned and chopped

2 T. Fennel seeds

2 T. Smoked paprika

2 T. Garlic powder

1/2 t. Red pepper flakes

Salt and pepper

4 T. Tomato paste

28 oz. Tomato sauce

8 cups of chicken stock

1 pkg. fresh cheese tortellini

1 pkg. fresh spinach and cheese tortellini

1 12 oz can low-fat evaporated milk

1 giant bunch of lacinato kale, de-stemmed and chopped

1/2 cup chopped basil

Juice of a lemon

Parmesan cheese for garnish

Put the sausage in a stock pot and cook on medium, chopping it up as it browns. Once brown add the onions, delicatta and carrots and cook another five minutes stirring often. Add the spices and cook two minutes. Add the tomato paste and cook 2 minutes.

Add the tomato sauce and the chicken stock and bring to a boil. Then reduce to simmer for ten minutes. If you want to cook this soup in advance of serving you can do it up to this point.

With this part of the soup almost boiling you can add the tortellini. Simmer for three minutes then add the condensed milk and the kale and basil. Cook another three minutes until it is hot and the kale is wilted.

Turn off the heat, add the Lemon juice and taste for spice levels.

Serve with Parmesan cheese on the side.

It was the perfect dinner on my recovery day from being away all week.

Most Things are Not About Luck

I hear it might have rained at home. I hope so. We have gone much too long without rain and we don’t need to get into a horrible drought along with everything else going on. It is hard to leave the paradise I have been in where the cares of the world seem very far away.

We had a beautiful day in Lyford with a great mah Jongg tournament today. The winner won five of her six games and it made me quite happy. Of course one of my very best students didn’t win any, which just goes to prove that sometimes the luck is not running your way. Luck equals out over time, but in six games you can have a bad streak.

Last week I finished listening to Ina Garten read her memoir. One things she said her husband Jeffery always said is, “sometimes you don’t know if something is good luck or bad luck.” So true. Like the person who misses their flight and thinks it’s bad luck, only for that plane to have an accident. So missing it was good luck.

I was leaving beautiful Bahamas, and when I got on the plane I had not just a whole row to myself but a whole section to myself. It was quite and I sat in the middle of the row relaxing. That was luck.

I am not complaining about leaving the Bahamas because I get to go home to Russ and Shay. The only thing that could be better than that is if Carter was there too. But she is happy in Boston. She did call me Monday with an adult report card. She got a promotion at work and a raise. I love getting those report cards. So happy she loves not just her job, but her company, co-workers and her fabulous boss. She is so lucky to have this great woman mentor teaching her so much.

As Carter was telling me about her promotion conversation I thought about all the bosses I had in my young career maybe only one was any good, and he was a little spineless when it came to senior leadership, so he wasn’t really good. I had some down right idiot bosses. The one thing I learned from them was how not to be a boss. It wasn’t lucky, but I learned nonetheless.

We just don’t know exactly how things are going to work out, but we all just have to keep doing the best we can and moving forward. Good luck or bad luck, we all get some of each. You just have to put the best effort in because most things are not about luck.

I’m Going to Hate Going Home

I have had a beyond fabulous time at Lyford Cay this week. It is not just that it is the most gorgeous place. It is not just that the weather is perfect. It is not just that the accommodations and food are wonderful. It is the people.

I have had the most fun with my students who all have the best senses of humor and are up to the challenges I throw at them. Thankfully they get me and know how much I adore them.

The staff here know me now too and are just fantastic. They go out of their way to make sure everything is perfect for me.

The big reason I am going to hate to leave is that Ruth E. has been over the top kind and generous. She is the reason I got this job. She is my constant advocate. She is always making sure I am taken care of. Her job got even bigger this trip because Russ did not come. I was fine coming on my own. Ruth E. Did not ever want me to be alone so she included me in every family dinner and lunch.

Tonight she threw a lovely party where all the Mah Jongg students and their spouses are invited to her house. It is one big love fest for me because the classes are over and we only have the tournament in the morning. So everyone is so happy because they loved the week so much. I got a chance to sit down and have good long talks with some wonderful ladies.

Then at exactly 8:00 everyone left and Ruth E. served dinner to us. She asked Diane, one of the beginner students to stay and eat. Diane had some great stories.

It is going to be hard to go home tomorrow and not have all these people doing so many things for me. I will be happy to see Russ and Shay. Russ was missed, especially by one student who wondered where my very handsome husband was.

I hope Ruth E. gets some rest and will be happy she is not having me hanging around. I’ll be back in February. Apparently things are sold out.

Reality Happens

It is a glorious day. I am so thankful to have the best job doing the thing I love with people I so enjoy. My friend Ruth E. continues to be the kindest host and makes sure I am well taken care of. Tonight we went for dinner with the family and had such a lovely time. We were treated by her sister-in-law Olivia which was above and beyond.

I came back to my to room and finally got to look at my phone and read my email and messages from the day. Rather than answering important emails I looked at Facebook and read my friend’s Holley post. Holley has been suffering with ALS for the last two years and it is a cruel and relentless opponent. Holley has met it head on with humor and grace and all the sparkle she can throw at it.

Still, it is exhausting. Exhausting for Holley, her family, her friends, her care givers, but she rarely complains. Holley is not only her own best cheerleader, she is ours.

So when she posted tonight about how she loves clapping and what clapping for others means. She went on to admit that she is thinking about what her end might be like and let us into the scary thoughts that come with that. And just as the pain of thinking about how hard this has been on her, she gives us joy in telling us exactly what she wants her last days or hours or moments to be. She then charges us with what we should do when we hear she is gone… stand and clap.

Even in her waining moments, she is thinking of us. We don’t know what we should do with out her, but now we know at least we should clap. Because she says it is “ Just a little 10 finger boost to say, Well done, well done.”

I cherish all these instructions and opportunities to tell Holley I love her and thank her for giving us ways to handle grief. It does not happen this way most of time. For now I pray for there to be nothing but joy for Holley and to be bathed in the light of the love she has sent out in the world. Please be free of pain and fear.

I am clapping now while Holley is still here. She knows I think she has done well indeed. But when she “gets called up to the big show” as she calls it, I will always think of her when I clap or hear clapping. And if there happens to be a disco balls reflecting all the light in the most sparkly way, I will know she is right there with me, shining light and clapping too.

Day One Bahamian Mah Jongg

I’m a little bit like a race horse who can’t wait to get out on the track. Except that I can’t run, I am anything but sleek and I refuse to let some small man get on my back. But in terms of being happier teaching Mah Jongg than doing about anything else, if teaching mah Jongg was anything like running a race, then I would be a race horse.

Today I had a two most lovely groups of students. Beginner was in the morning. Most of the students are new to me, but we had two repeats who I so enjoyed. Since this was the first time most of the class had met me I tried to not scare them to death. Sometimes it can be scary to be a beginner.

They did a great job keeping up and learning exactly what I was teaching in real time. Every once in a while I have a student who nods their head and makes all the right faces about understanding, but is actuality they don’t get it at all. I can honestly say I didn’t have any of those today.

My big class was the Beyond beginner afternoon class where we had 12 tables of mostly people who have taken from me before. In that case I can be a little more outrageous and animated as they have already experienced my class. It makes my heart so full when I hear from some of these repeat students that Mah Jongg has saved their life, or that they flew in from Geneva just to be in this class. I hope they are always learning new things in these classes as well as having fun.

When I left class I saw a sign outside. That said, “Please be very quiet. A meeting is in progress.” For a split second I thought, “Oh Lord, I was so loud.” Then I realized the meeting that was in progress was my class. We never would have noticed if someone outside the class was being noisy because we were inside being loud and having too much fun.

The fun continued into dinner. I got to join Ruth E. her daughter-in-law Kelsey, her sister-in-law Olivia and Cousin-in-law Carmen. I was the outlaw in the group, but it was a great dinner with lots of laughing.

Now I have to force my body to go to sleep so I can do it all again in the morning.

I Need the Stimulation

I’m not good without a lot to do. I know I got this from my father. I can’t sit around. Give me some work. Let me be busy.

I come to the Bahamas to teach a day in advance just in case there is a problem with the travel. When there is no problem that means I have more than an extra day to sit around.

There are some tasks for me to to do to get ready for class, but they are small.

Today I went to set up the classroom at ten, the agreed upon time, but there were no table cloths. They had to come from the laundry after being pressed. So maybe they would be ready at one. I went at one, not yet. So I went and had lunch and thankfully ran into Ruth E. and Kelsey so at least that was a great way to wile away some time.

I went back to the room and most of the tables are gone, and the room is full of chairs stacked on top of each other. Apparently that room is need to store chairs when there is going to be a big event somewhere else. I was promised they will be out by nine tomorrow, which I am sure they will be. But that left less setting up for me to do.

So I took a walk. I went to the beach. I looked at orchids. I was bored. I don’t want to look at any news or social media since I can’t handle that right now. I played some games, read, organized my clothes. I still had hours to kill. I talked to Carter, talked to Russ. Just not enough activity for me.

Eventually it came time to get ready for the welcome to Mah Jongg week cocktail party. I took the longest shower I could stand before the guilt of using too much water got to me. It was all of four minutes.

I went to the party and had a wonderful time seeing previous students and meeting new ones. I ate a tuna tartare bite. It didn’t taste quite right. I started to get a little clammy, no pun intended. I can not have one bite of bad fish take me down.

I begged off my dinner invitation and came back to lie down. I think I am OK, but now I am bored again. I can’t wait for classes to start tomorrow. I need the stimulation.

It’s My Seat

If it’s February it must be the Bahamas…but wait it’s November. Yes, now I’m teaching at Lyford twice a year. Don’t hate me, but I just made it here by the skin of my pants. (Is that the right idiom?) No, by the skin of my teeth. Not sure where I got pants.

Russ didn’t feel like he could spend a second week of the year as my arm candy. He has his own work to do. But he did nicely drive me to the airport this morning. Glad I got there early because TSA was very interested in my round canister of car magnet mah Jongg card that I use for teaching. Apparently the X-ray machine can not see through a big wound up magnetic sign. Once they took it out of the mailing tube I carry it in they were fine, except now all those TSA agents want to learn Mah Jongg.

Thankfully our plane was on time because I had a very tight connection. I was sitting up front and when we landed in Atlanta at B-7 and I had to get to F-3, I knew it was going to be a run. I went fast and got to the gate with a half hour to go before take off.

They had already boarded the people in the gate. I was worried that all the overhead space would be taken, but apparently that was not the worry I should have had.

I walked up to the gate and they had this photo recognition software, so you didn’t even have to show your boarding pass. The machine did not recognize me. The gate agent asked for my passport. Another couple from my RDU flight came up behind me and got right on. I stood aside while they searched for me.

“Here is my boarding pass and seat assignment.”

“You aren’t on this flight.”

“What do you mean I’m not on this flight?”

“No one named Lange.”

The gate agent called over the manager. She looked and said, “We rebooked you on a later flight.”

“Why? It’s a half hour before take off and I am here.”

“We didn’t think you were going to make it.”

“But you didn’t rebook the other people on my flight from RDU who arrived at the gate after me and just got on.”

“Someone is in your seat.”

“Yes, MY seat. So they can be moved or taken off. You had no right to give my seat away this far ahead of time.”

They agreed and gave me paper boarding pass and told me to get on the plane.

As I boarded I mentioned to the flight attendants up front that there might be someone in my seat and explained what happened. The male attendant jokingly said, “Feel free to knock them around a little.”

I responded, “I won’t do that.” And he quickly said, “Please don’t. It was a joke.”

“I got that, but people do it nowadays.”

I looked down the aisle and could see the person sitting in my seat. “Would you mind telling her she is in my seat, I think it would go over better coming from you.”

The flight attendant agreed and moved them back to their middle seat they were supposed to be in two rows up. I am not sure why she got moved in the first place. But I got my original seat.

Thankfully it was an uneventful hour and thirty-nine minutes down here and Ruth E. was at the airport to pick me up.

All good in the Bahamas!

Today’s Emergencies

I am not a person who normally misplaces things. I tend to be very regular in my organization of all things in the house and since I don’t do major reorganizations, where things are put are in my long term memory. I do keep a list of things I hide and where I have hidden them because if it is a new hiding place I might forget. Hidden items are different from everyday items.

Today I was packing for my work trip to the Bahamas. I know, it sounds bougie, but I am the teacher, not a guest.

I went to get my passport from the drawer I have kept it in for 30 years. I opened the drawer, which is packed with other slightly important stuff, but not as important as the passports. It was not there. Since we keep all our passports together in the same black case it is usually easy to spot amongst the folders of white papers.

I opened the similar drawer on the other side to see if it was in there. It wasn’t. I opened and rummaged through nine drawers in total and could not find the case. I had a sick feeling in my stomach, well I’ve had a sick feeling all week, it just got a little worse.

I called to Russ, who thankfully was home. Did he have the passports? No, they are in the drawer. No, they are not. He came down to the room with nine drawers and rummaged around.

Did we take the passports to Maine? It may sometimes feel like a different country, but no, we were able to legally enter the state without our passports. I asked if by chance they were in his brief case.

I went to the closet of all things travel, bags, and packing cubes and power converters and hats you only wear on vacation. I went through all the carry on bags. Nothing.

Russ had given up in the room of drawers. So I went back and looked through the shelves. I reopened the original drawer in hopes of it magically appearing. No, but when I shut the drawer it would not close all the way. The drawer was hitting something inside, in the back.

I called to Russ with the urgency of June Cleaver, needing Ward to open a jar. He came back and with the aid of a flashlight spotted the passport case in the back of the cabinet. It took quiet a lot of doing to figure out how to remove the drawer, which we never actually did, but Russ did get it to come out enough that he was able to snake a long fingered hand in and retrieved the passport case.

These kind of artificial emergencies I just don’t need this week. Especially since Shay threw up something gross and very unusual for her and I took her to the vet for a $500 consult with X-rays and ultra sound to find out her organs and systems are all fine. Next week has got to be better.

Avoidance is Self Care

I have thankfully been very busy the last three days. I taught morning class in Burlington and a night class in Raleigh. This did not leave me much time to look at social media, or watch TV or read the news, which is the best thing I could do. I did stop in Carrboro between classes today and had lunch with my friends Jan and Deanna.

They feel the same way I do about Tuesday’s outcome and we avoided talking about it, until after lunch. As the subject just started coming up I stood up and said I had to go. I could have stayed another five minutes, but at this point I am not ready to handle those feelings.

So I just enjoyed my students, who also used my class as avoidance. It was nice to feel joy over winning a new game. I came home to sweet Shay. Ever the optimist, she wants to snuggle no matter what happened during the day. I am going to take her lead and just snuggle. No TV, no looking at the news on my phone. This is what self care looks like right now.

Keep Being Good People

I got home from teaching last night at 10. Things weren’t looking good. Carter texted that she had a great day working the polls. The veteran polling ladies who have been doing it for years told her she a beacon of positivity. She was pumped from doing it even though it was a very long day. I hate for the light of that might be snuffed out. My heart breaks for the country we have made for young women.

I made the decision to take a big sleeping aid and get one last good nights sleep before I had to face reality. I woke up this morning to news that was no better in the light of day.

I am in shock. I don’t know who we are as Americans, but for this child of the 60’s it is a different America. Life has to go on and I had to get up and go to work. Not a word was said in my class this morning. No one brought up the subject. Since I didn’t know these women before yesterday I have no idea if they were happy or sad, except plenty of them were wearing black.

Tonight’s class are a much younger group of women. Many of whom made it clear yesterday they voted for Kamala. I hope they will be OK tonight.

Right now I just wish I could go to sleep, but life must go on. Hug your kids, take a walk, eat healthy food, be kind to one another. We don’t have to change who we are. Keep being good people.

Democracy Is Up to Us

When I was a young 20 something I don’t remember voting. I lived in Washington DC and since most people who lived in DC actually came from somewhere else most were not voters there. We had no congressional representation that had a vote, so it seemed pointless to me at the time. I now realize the error of my ways.

Thankfully I raised a better daughter than I was. Carter is working as a poll worker, not watcher, but actual worker, in Boston today. She had to report for work at 6:00 am this morning and is working until 9:00pm. I am so proud that she is participating in the running of democracy.

Claire, who has voted at this precinct many times before, said Carter would add to the diversity of the normal poll workers there as in the past they were older African American Woman who ran the polls. I do know that there is at least one man working this year because Carter got paired with him for one of her jobs.

We all know that our most important job as a citizen is to vote. I hope you have already done it. I have said this in the last few elections, but it is true again, “This is the most important election in your life.”

Perhaps seeing a Carter welcoming you at your polling place will spur people to do the right thing. I think she is well named.

A Tale of Two Birthdays

I had two birthday celebrations today. One was for my friend Nancy. A tiny group gathered to needlepoint and have cake in celebration of her birthday coming on Wednesday. Nancy does not like Chocolate cake. I was the cake volunteer so I made her a triple layer vanilla cake with raspberry filling and vanilla Swiss buttercream. It was a work of love and a lovely afternoon with friends.

I was home just a bit before Jan picked me up to go join a cast of hundreds to surprise Holley as today is her actual 64th birthday. Friends gathered on the street each picking up a candle and a giant sparkler. Our plan was to first sing, “When You’re 64,” then Happy Birthday, followed by an original song about Holley written by Anne Eberdt.

Holley had came out in her wheel chair in a hot pink jacket, with her family, to witness the outpouring of love. We sang the first song, the best that we could. Did better with Happy Birthday and then had to light our sparklers. That was a little harder than we anticipated. Eventually we got them all lit and sang the the original song to the tune of “take me out to the ball game.” Then we cheered.

We needed to cheer so that we didn’t cry. Holley’s husband Paul spoke and thanked us and then Holley typed a couple of messages of love which were read to us. Holley asked for us to all stand behind her for one group photo.

We stood in the street in the dark, hugging each other. Happiness and sadness were all tangled up together.

It was the tale of two very different birthdays. You never know how many birthdays you are going to get. Celebrate them all.

It’s That Time Of Year

I’m not talking about election time. It’s “give my father-in-law the Christmas gift lists” time of year. I know it is coming every year, but somehow I am ways blind sided. He asks Russ what I want. He asks me what Russ wants. He also asks what Carter wants.

You would think I would keep a running list so that at the drop of a hat I could produce a list of nice, but not too expensive gift ideas. My Father-in-law loves giving gifts. He likes to buy them, wrap them, and send them.

The things I want this year no one can buy. The right outcome for all the elections and no drama about who won. The end of homelessness, and hunger. For everyone to have a social network of real life friends who people see in person often. Cures for all the illnesses my friends have and the return of their health and lives. A cooling of the planet just enough to end climate change. The return of kindness and an end of divisiveness. Civics to return to school curriculums and a return to the goal of an educated population being a good thing. A belief in science and facts. And a return to honesty and stop fleecing the poor sheep who know no better.

My list could go on and on, but none of these things are what my FIL is looking for. So what am I to tell him? I really like a needlepoint gift certificate, but he has tired of that gift. I am open to suggestions. What have you recently purchased or been given that you love? What about for your husband? I need ideas!

“It Warms My Heat”

Tonight was Holley’s Studio 64 Birthday party! As my most sparkly and disco loving friend it was only appropriate that we celebrate with her this way. I, in no way have the sparkly wardrobe required to be a friend of Holley’s so I am ever thankful she keeps me around all these years.

I am thankful that she too is around. ALS is the most awful disease, and Holley is a champ. Talking was Holley’s thing and to be robbed of her voice has been cruel. I miss hearing her say, “Hi, Honey.” But I still hear it in my head every time I see her.

Now Holley “talks” to us with her phone, typing out her thoughts. Sometimes the typing is slightly off. Tonight when Jan and I were saying our goodbyes and I was leaning down to give Holley’s frail little body a big hug, I whispered how much I adore and love her. She typed a tiny message, “It warms my heat.” All the friends standing with us all got a big laugh. It may have been a slip of an unsure finger, but it was funny, as Holley is and always has been a great wit.

All her family was dressed in their disco finery. There were sequence of many sizes. She typed, “Paul will be finding these forever.” I figure I will never be able to look at a sequence and not think of Holley. I guess I better go buy some sequenced clothes, it’s never too late to be like Holley. The world is lucky to have her for 64 bright and shiny years.

Soup’s On

I was with my friends Christy and Mary Lloyd this morning. We got on the subject of it being November and that means soup to us. None of us cared that it was 80°. It’s soup month by the calendar, not the thermometer.

As I had nothing prepared for dinner I texted Russ and asked him if he was OK with soup. His response that he had left over Chinese food told me he wasn’t thrilled with the idea of having soup for dinner, but he was being a good egg about it.

I considered all my soup choices, but went with Avgolemono, Greek chicken, rice and lemon soup. It is a quick and light soup that I love. I also thought it would be nice to have for lunch this week.

Given the weather this was a choice that did not scream fall, so it does not fulfill my fall soup desire. I will wait for actual cold weather to make something heartier. If it were up to me I would have soup everyday. Wait, what am I saying, it is up to me for lunch.

I guess I need to get back into making soup once a week so I have it around.