The Lost Art of the Introduction

Long before I was born, which was a millennia ago, when someone wanted to meet a new person they found a common friend who would introduce them. It acted as a reference as well as a way to get all the details about the person correct.

The introduction, in the olden days, could go something like, “Mrs. Lange, I would like to introduce you to my Mother-in-law, Mrs. Frances. She is visiting us from Knoxville, Tennessee where she and her husband live. Like you, she is an avid gardener.”

“Mother Frances, I would like to introduce you to Mrs. Lange. I have known her for over ten years and we sit together at church.”

In that introduction the two strangers, being me and Mrs. Frances, learned each other’s names, where we live, something we are both interested in and how we are connected to the the Introducer. It was very simple, yet, thorough enough that the I could begin a conversation with Mrs. France’s without having to put her through an inquisition.

Nowadays, I often get texts from people who say something like, “I want to take a Mah Jongg course.” Well, they do get right to the point.

I have to pull teeth to get some preliminary information out of them. “Hi, what’s your name? Can you tell me how you found me? Where do you live? Are you looking for Beginner or Beyond Beginner classes?”

It is so amazing how many people assume I know who they are when they text me. If I don’t have your phone number in my contacts with your name, when you text me the only identifier is your phone number. I also do not know where each area code is located so I can not decipher where you are from by your number, not that everyone lives in the same place their area code is located anymore.

If you are a friend of mine, or I have texted with you multiple times, then I know you, but when I text you I will try and start with, “Hi, It’s Dana.” If I think you don’t know me that well I will say, “Hi, It’s Dana, the Mah Jongg teacher.” Or “Hi, It’s Dana Lange.” Or “Hi, it’s Dana Carter,” if you knew you from school.

I would like if we could go back to the earlier times when someone introduced people to me and gave me their back ground. I would also like everyone when they come into a room where people are gathered, they don’t assume everyone knows their name. Just introduce yourself. Never say, “ Nice to meet you.” In case you have met before, and you don’t remember. Always say, “Hi, I’m Dana Lange( insert your real name). It’s nice to see you.” Nice to see you does not mean I have or have not met you before. It covers all situations.

One thing I have seen when I used to interview famous or well-known people for Durham Magazine, is even the most well-recognized person would introduce themselves when I first met them. The less important someone was, the more likely they would assume I knew who they were, or that they did not warrant my needing to know their name.

Everyone is worthy of being known by name, just tell everyone what it is and never assume everyone knows you. You are important, but you are never too important.