Cleaning Out Birthday Calendar

It is easier than ever to remember Friend’s and families birthdays. Between Facebook and perpetual calendar reminders I have no excuse. Of course there are those people important enough to me that I know their birthdays without any reminder. Some are childhood friends who I have not seen in years, but still I know their birthdays.

I made a big snafu last month when I let one of my best friend’s birthdays go by for a week. It wasn’t until I was watching Good morning America and they said, “Today is May 30th.” My mind went, “ Oh Shit.” I called and my friend offered me such grace in my missing the birthday. I had no excuse, but I did everything I could to make up for it.

Today I looked at my calendar and I saw that someone who used to be a good friend has a birthday next week. She moved away more than a decade ago and despite my attempts to stay in touch she never reciprocated. This was a good enough friend that we had gone on trips together, but once she lived half a country away it was as if we never met.

I looked at her birthday on my calendar and I decided today is the day I can remove that listing from my perpetual calendar. I have no guilt. I have not seen or heard from her in years, even though we never had any falling out that I knew about. Russ and I still hear from her husband and we get updates on their son, who we adore. She is someone who is fully in the present. Knowing her as well as I did, and her family history, none of this surprised me. Still I kept her in my calendar.

I decided I am not doing a good enough job on the actual friends I love and adore. I am going to clean out my birthday reminders of people I really don’t have a relationship with. Now this actions does not mean I will be better at communicating with people on their Birthdays. That would involve know what day it is right now. Unless I am teaching you mah Jongg, I don’t know what day it is. So please accept my belated birthday wishes when I send them. It’s not you, it’s me.