Tell Me What You Want and Who You Are

Tell Me What You Want and Who You Are

Humans are incredibly egocentric beings. This coming from a person who writes a daily blog about my day is proof enough. Because of my attention on myself at the end of everyday I try and make sure that I am less egocentric during the day, but lord knows that rarely happens.

There are two examples I can share about how egocentric people are that happens to me multiple times a day. The first is when one of my mah Jongg students texts me. Nine times out of ten they do not tell me who they are in the text. When I give out my number I always say, “I don’t have your number in my phone, so when you text me start with your name.”

Even after that instruction, people launch right into their question with no introduction. I usually text back, “Who is this?”

An apology follows with the name, but only the first time they text. The second time, I have to scroll back through the thread to figure out who is writing me. If I like the person I will make a contact for them so their name comes up, but not always. I really like just about everyone, but sometimes I just don’t have the time to be making all these contacts.

The reason I don’t have time is I am busy chasing down the second egocentric thing that happens. When students sign up for Mah Jongg classes I get a message with their name and in the memo it just says “mah Jongg,” or “class,” or if they go way out there, “Mah Jongg Class.”

On any given day I am signing up people for 25 different classes. If I get ten sign ups a day I have to message them all back and ask, “which location or date are you signing up for?” No one ever thinks that if you are signing up for a class that is three months away I might have a few other classes before yours.

So just to put a point on it, I have on average 200 to 250 unique students a month. If 90% of them don’t say which class they want I have to send 180-225 extra messages.

That’s an average month. April is coming and it is my Super Bowl. I have over 500 students in April so if 90% of them don’t put a memo in their sign up I have having to send 450 extra messages, just to make sure I put people on the right class list.

I know, right now, I am preaching to the choir, because if you read my blog I probably know you. If you sign up for a class you know what to tell me. But take this as the advice it is meant to be. Don’t assume everyone knows you or knows what you are thinking. Always introduce yourself, especially virtually, until you have become real friends. And always tell people exactly what you want.

I have met very few actual mind readers in my 62 years. So I just don’t expect most people I meet to be a mind reader. If I need something from someone I am going to tell them and not expect them to guess. Expecting people to do for you exactly what you want, without being told, is the most egocentric thing you can be. It is also setting yourself up for disappointment.

Please people, say who you are and what you want. I am telling you exactly what I want.