The Devastating Loss of Hugh Braithwaite

The absolutely funniest person I have ever known has left this earth. Hugh Braithwaite was one of my favorite people, but I was just one of millions who loved him. Hugh was part of my tight knit group of friends in college. Everyone loved Hugh and everyone thought they were his friend because that is the kind of guy he was.

If you were lucky, he thought you were his friend too. Our small group of Hugh, Doug, Dave, Suzanne and myself, had some incredibly magical times as the closest of friends in college and beyond. We had our own language, mostly made up by Hugh. I still call the amount of Worcestershire sauce that is pored out from the bottle “a suga” because that is how Hugh would define it when making a Bloody Mary. We had our own jokes, our own insider stories, our own love for each other, that made our bond unlike other friends.

In college he and I had a running manuscript for a book we kept saying we were going to write, but never did. It was called “Excuses, Excuses.” There were a million excuses why we never finished that book.

Hugh was from Philadelphia and we used to call his Philadelphia friends, his “real friends.” This was because when we left college he said, “I might never see you again.” We were aghast. That was not what happened. We did see Hugh, just not as often or as much as we wanted. But we knew he was magical. We knew everyone wanted to be with Hugh.

Our first year out of college, Hugh lived in Miami and I lived in Washington, DC. We were both in sales and we had similar lives. He was lonely in Miami and I had free long distance because my father worked for MCI. We would talk on the phone for hours. Sometimes just watching TV together over my free long distance. I would go to Miami three weekends in a row that year just to hang out with Hugh.

On the third weekend, I was not supposed to be there, but Suzanne was there with Hugh, so they called me and challenged me to come down and be with them. Our challenge to each other was always, “What are you going to remember?” This was so true, because we remember all the times we were together. That was the weekend I gave up drinking. Many of you know that story.

For my engagement party Suzanne got a trolley that drove us all around Washington DC, making stops at various spots. At the Lincoln Memorial Hugh pulled out a bull horn and read a speech he had written about me called, “I have a scheme.” It was patterned after Dr. King’s “I have a dream” speech from the same location. I remember Japanese tourists filming him giving this speech to our group of assembled party goers, as if it was an actual political speech.

Our friend group all have stories about Hugh and our weddings. I can remember being with him and saying, “Have you sent back your reply card for someone’s wedding?” Of course he had not sent it back so I encouraged him to do it right that very minute.

He pulled the card out from invitation and it had printed a capital letter M followed by a long line. “I always have trouble thinking of a sentence that begins with M,” he said with that sly smile. And then dictated out loud, “My, My I can’t wait to come to your wedding. Love, Hugh.” He was the most original comedian at all times.

Hugh never gave one of us a wedding present and it was a running joke in our group. We knew that his presence was the gift. But we thought we got him back at his wedding, but he got the last laugh. Collectively, our group bought an Elvis Bust Lamp with a fringe shade at a truck stop, similar to the truck stops we used to eat at very late at night after a lot of drinking.

True to form, Hugh embraced that Elvis Bust lamp, and had it seat belted into the seat of the classic Lincoln Convertible he and his bride Carolyn drove off in from the wedding. He always had the last laugh and it was never at anyone’s expense.

I was last with Hugh in June, driving around Carlisle with Doug, looking for a truck stop after being out partying with our college friends. I am ever thankful he was my friend.

Hugh leaves behind a loving family of his wife Carolyn, two sons, Will and Owen and a daughter Andie. He leaves brothers and sister, nieces and nephews, his real friends from Philly, his college friends, his company friends and clients, his students, and millions of people who might have just heard him speak at a conference or party.

He was the most infectious person. He was bigger than life, way bigger than his height. He was sunshine and puppies, but those puppies were definitely playing poker. The world has lost one of the greats, way too soon for his 63 years. Hugh Braithwaite, not one of the greats, but the actual great.

The Fever is Real

I am the luckiest person on Earth. Thanks to my friend Ruth E. Russ and I get a fabulous vacation while I teach Mah Jongg. Tonight Ruth E. and her husband Frank threw a giant (!!!!!) party for all the Mah Jongg Students and their spouses.

I have just finished teaching two classes of new students who are now addicted and they were at the party, along with all the students to who have come just for strategy class. So I got to see favorites from last year and meet new ones who were just coming in. Nebraska was back in the house and I was thrilled to see those girls.

The largest contingent is from Houston. I finally met my BFF Suzanne’s friend Carson from Houston! There is nothing more fun than making friends with your fiends friends. I am making plans to go to Houston and can’t wait.

One of last year’s students, Laura, made an entire set of mah jongg pieces in cookies for the party! They are an incredible work of art that Ruth E. displayed on Mah Jongg racks in winning hand combinations.

Besides celebrating all things Mah Jongg it was also Dixie DeKoning ‘s birthday and her darling daughter Daria brought a cake to celebrate her mother.

I am only slightly exhausted, but have to rally for tomorrow because there are at least 54 people in this class. The expectations are high, but it’s nothing but fun. Thanks Ruth E., I love coming here.

What Goes On When I’m not Around

Russ is my plus one, arm candy at my work this week. It is a rough job for him. While I am teaching he is usually working on our terrace with palm trees in the back ground. He thinks that since it is so calm here people think his back ground is one of those computer generated back grounds, not the real tropical location.

He related a great story to me that happened while I was in class. As he sat on the sofa outside, quietly working, a new couple who moved into the room next to us today came out of their terrace. They didn’t notice Russ, tucked discreetly in the corner.

Russ said they were a few years older than us, dressed in their bathing suits. The husband said to the wife, “Where is the cut through to the beach?” (One happens to be right across the grass from our room.)

The wife replies, “Up there at the bar, where I can get my daiquiri.” (The bar is a good 100 yards from the closest cut through)

The husband says, “you don’t need an expensive daiquiri.”

She says, “stop being so cheep.”

“Why are you publicly shaming me? You know I’ve always been cheep.”

Russ got a big laugh about this, especially since everyone here can afford a drink.

The Exhaustion and Exhilaration

It’s the first day of Mah Jongg week, Bahama Style. I had two new classes of beginners back to back. The first day of class is the hardest day to teach and definitely the hardest day to learn. Thankfully I had fantastic people in both classes.

For me, teaching Mah Jongg is a big conglomeration of things I love. A game, meeting new people, a captive audience, comedy and the psychology of figuring out how people think and how best to help them learn.

So the first day I am not only trying to impart new knowledge, but am watching for clues about who is getting it, and who is confused and who just had an aha moment and why. This is why I have to teach in person so I can look people in the eye.

All that paying attention is exhausting, but is is so rewarding. The thing I hate most is when people don’t give themselves permission to just have fun and they get too uptight. I can figure out who those people might be from the very start by asking an incredible simple question of them. If they tense up from that easy question I begin to understand how they work. Then I have to work to make them comfortable so they can learn.

Perfectionism is a big problem with so many people. If you are always trying to be perfect you don’t take risks. You really learn best from making mistakes. I am constantly trying to encourage people to push themselves outside their comfort zone. It is so rewarding to watch people do that and see them have things click, sometimes for the first time in a long time.

Be bold. Try to learn new things. Fail a few hundred times and the time you succeed will bring you the greatest joy, because you earned it. It’s exhausting and exhilarating. It’s worth it.

The Calm Before the Storm

Today was technically my day off. That being said I did a lot of set up for my class this week. Ruth E. and I went over the whole list of participants so I could refresh my memory on who was coming. I am a “face” person. I hardly ever forget a face, unless it gets dramatically altered somehow. I am also good at remembering names. What I really like is to learn where people are from and I remember that best. Putting all that information together can sometimes be a problem.

Tonight we had the “welcome cocktail party”. I was thrilled to see so many returning students. As soon as I saw their faces I remembered perfectly where they were from, but still had to ask them to remind me of their names. There are almost three times as many people this year so it helps to already know some.

Between the setting up and the cocktails we had a lovely lunch by the beach. I saw lots of students there and one nice friend invited us to her house for dinner after the cocktail party. It was so sweet, but there are just so many parties I can ask Russ to go to so I begged off. I do need a good nights sleep before tomorrow’s two classes.

After lunch Russ and I took a great beach walk. The weather could not be more perfect. 72° and not a cloud in the sky. The water was crystal blue and the sand the cleanest white.

We are having dinner on our terrace with the just-past full moon glowing down on us. Pretty romantic business trip.

Nice Place, Nicer People

Everyone knows I have the worlds greatest job. Don’t hate me because I get to spend time with nice people, teaching them a fun game and basically doing stand up comedy as a regular part of my job.

It’s great to do it in North Carolina, at lots of beautiful place, but honestly my office this week is hard to beat. Look at the view.

Thanks to the ever generous and fun Ruth E. for getting me this gig. Russ and I flew down to the Bahamas today and it turned into a beautiful day. Ruth E. picked us up and gave us the big welcome.

The DeKonings invited us, with Ruth E. to their fabulous house for cocktails where we met their youngest daughter Daria who is going to take class this week. Dixie had been in class last year and is one of my favorites. Although she is still mad about the beat the teacher game. When she is in strategy class this week I will have to give her another chance to beat me. Russ got on famously with her husband Joep, who is as interested in history as Russ is. After cocktails we all went off to the dinner together.

It’s hard to beat a perfect tropical evening sitting around telling stories and getting to know wonderful people better. It is also nice to get to share a little Mah Jongg fun with Russ. He may not play the game, but he is a big supporter.

Can’t wait for Mah Jongg Week to start at Lyford Monday. For now I am on a little vacation.

Don’t Issue Challenges You Aren’t Willing to Pay

Finally the stupid are getting their comeuppance. A few years ago the MyPillow idiot issued a challenge. He offered anyone who could debunk his “iron clad proof” that the 2020 election was stolen $5 million dollars.

Anyone who makes pillows shouldn’t think he can do anything iron clad. You work with foam, not iron, let alone actual data.

So a twice Trump voter, who is a software developer did debunk the theory. His name is Robert Zeidman. Now most of us knew that Trump lost, even if you voted for him, but only Zeidman looked at the My Pillow’s data and had no trouble finding it provably bogus.

So what did MyPillow Head do? He tried to back out of paying the $5M. So Zeidman took him to court. And guess who won?

MyPillow has been ordered to pay up. But now he is claiming he might not have the money, although he may still be donating to someone’s campaign. There are also the law suits brought against Mr. MyPillow from the voting machine libel cases he has to pay.

I am tired of people telling lies and not being held to count for them. Not for myself, but for all the poor slubs out there that believe these liars. Pay up and shut up.

And please consider the source of the news you listen too. A guy who blows foam in a bag is not an expert on voting systems or data. The courts have said so. I just don’t know if the foam is a seizable and sale-able asset worth taking in case you can’t get the cash.

Chuck’s Dream Manifested

More than ten years ago Chuck ReCorr sent me to Harvard as part of an experiment to invest in human capital to improve the outcomes of Non-profits in The triangle. Over the last decade he has spent over a million of his own dollars to educate Non-profit leaders in the triangle with the hopes of creating a collaborative and supportive non-profit community in the triangle that is unmatched any where else in the country. I think tonight his dream might have been come true.

432 Non-Profit leaders gathered at the Rialto Theatre in Raleigh at an event sponsored by the Harvard 100, Chuck’s group and Community Leaders Drinking coffee, a non-profit leader groups started by Danny Rosin and Maggie Kane. The event was a screening of a movie called Unchairitable andthe unveiling of a succession planning tool.As a member of the Harvard 100 executive committee I was part of the planning group, but I was one of the least involved in the making of this event. Danny Rosin was the true leader. We only had a dream we could fill the Rialto theatre and in a very short time the event was sold out.

Before the screening there were a few remarks by Maggie, Danny and Chuck. Chuck warned me before hand that he was going to talk about me. So I stayed in the back of the theatre to be somewhat incognito. Right after he said my name, a woman standing next to me in the back turned to her neighbor and said, is that the same Dana Lange who is the Mah Jongg teacher.

I didn’t say anything to her at the moment as Chuck was on the stage talking. He then asked all the people in the audience to meet two people in the room to help facilitate getting to know each other. I turned to the man on one side of me and then the woman on the other. The woman said, “Didn’t you teach me Mah Jongg? I recognize your voice.” I said yes. And we talked a minute about how much she loves the game and what her non-profit is.

It was an exciting night at the Rialto. I think Chuck should take a victory lap for what he has personally done for the triangle community. As Chuck has retired he is looking to others to continue his work and Danny is doing a great job, along with others, to follow in the path Chuck created.

Always Prepared

I am an in advance preparer. I don’t like to leave things until the last minute. I fear if I do wait something else will come up and I will be left unprepared. I hate to be unprepared. I like to think of what could go wrong and plan what I will do if it does. When I was in my late twenties I had to train myself to not worry about what might go wrong by considering what the chances are that said thing will go wrong. The chances were usually low, but just in case, I was prepared.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a doomsday preparer. If something catastrophic is going to happen then I am perfectly fine with not surviving along with all the people I love. The worst case scenario for me is being the only one who survives. Who would I play Mah Jongg with once there are no people or electricity.

What I am not a fan of is other people not preparing and expecting me to save them when they have many last minute requests or needs. As the saying goes, your lack of planing does not constitute an emergency on my part.

Of course someone else’s poor planing can effect my plans so I am constantly on the lookout for that.

One of those scenarios is that someone allowed too many people to sign up for one of my classes by more than double. Now the crowd size is not an issue for me, but being able to make sure everyone in the class has a satisfactory experience is important to me. So with a months notice I painted these 6×9 inch Mah Jongg tile cards. I plan on using them in class to illustrate hands in a big enough format that people far from me can see.

I would have liked to have three months to paint these, but I didn’t have that much time. So any day I was home, which was only 7 in the month, I would sit at my game table and paint the cards. Thankfully I finished painting on Sunday. This left me enough time on Monday to sew a little bag to carry the cards in. I am not about to let anything happen to these after all the hours it took to paint them.

Now I am envisioning all the ways I can use them in future classes and am very excited about having them. The emergency that was created by one person, might end up being a way I can improve my teaching for all. Now I have to purchase a portable system to display the cards so I will be prepared to teach anywhere, at any time, under any circumstance, except maybe not in the rain outdoors. That would involve the need for an portable tent big enough for a whole class and I am willing to give up on being that prepared.

My Quick Witted Husband

Tonight we were watching the news. A story came on about the New York Attorney General Leticia James talking about the $355 Million verdict against Trump. She said that she would make sure he pays or posts bond even if it means she had to seize some of his New York properties to do it.

Without skipping a beat Russ says, “She is going to grab him by the building and there is nothing he can do about it.”

Russ really knows how to bring things full circle. And Karma is a bitch, just not one you can grab by anything.

I Love My New Car

When my car dealer Randy told me that Mike Martin was going to be delivering me my new car I took it as a good sign. The first boy who ever kissed me was named Mike Martin. This was not the same Mike Martin, but a nice guy who knew lots of my Kinston friends and read my blog. (Jane Brothers he is still not over the Annie Musical.)

Having a car delivered to your house to learn how to use it is the way to go. Learning to use a new car is a big job. So much has changed in the last 12 years. First the pairing the car to my phone is mind blowing. I know that we must be the last people on earth to know this is a thing. Russ was worried that his phone might be too old, but thankfully it worked.

Now I can not only say “Hey, Siri,” but also “Hey, Toyota,” both inside my car. I am never going to feel alone. Right now all my Sirius radio stations, my NPR FM station, my audible and my podcasts are all available in the car. I really should be sitting in my car right now listening to something. I can’t wait to figure out how to dictate my blog while driving.

This is how it would go, “I had a most interesting… God Damit, stay in your own lane…Day.” I promise I won’t post while driving.

I made Russ drive the car this afternoon so he could at least try it before I drive away tomorrow for work. This car has great leg room for the man with the 37” inseam. His big concern is where Shay is going to sit since now we have captain chairs in the back seat, obviously this is going to involve more research about raised dog beds with seatbelts. Shay likes to see out the window while being chauffeured.

When we got home from Russ’ inaugural drive we just went in the house. Once there I got a text on my watch telling me multiple doors on the car were left unlocked. I pulled up the app and was able to lock the doors from my phone. My watch confirmed they were all locked and that the car was parked in the driveway. Thank goodness all my devices are talking to each other and to me, I never will be lonely with this car.

The End of Two Eras

My father loved cars. He really loved buying cars. You never knew what he was going to drive up in since he bought new cars so often. One time my mother had a Buick that she really liked, but my father read in one of his many obscure car magazines that there was some mystery transmission problem with her particular model that would disable the car from going into reverse.

No sooner had my father read this did her car have that same affliction. Thank goodness they lived on a cul de sac. So my father drove that car to a Nissan dealership, where he assumed they did not read the same random car magazines he did. He pulled the car up to the front of the showroom in the parallel position.

He walked into the manager’s office and said that he wanted to buy the newest Z car they had on the lot and he wanted to trade the Buick parked in front. He told they guy the year, make and model and the mileage. He announced the amount he wanted for the Buick and the price he would pay for the Z car and that he would write them a check. Then he threw in the ‘ole Ed Carter wrench. “You have 20 minutes to prep the new car so I can drive it right now.”

It was the last day of the month, at about 4 in the afternoon, so my father new that the manager would be most interested in selling a car to make his monthly numbers. The guy said, “I need to pull your car into the shop to check it out before I can give you a price for the trade in.”

My Dad did not object to that, but said to the guy, “I want to know right now if you want this deal and can have the new car prepped or I am going across the street to the BMW dealer.”

The manager said yes and had the paperwork and car prep done in 19 minutes, never once even looking at the odometer of the Buick. My Dad was zipping down the road home before they could have figured out the car did not go in reverse.

This was not an unusual story for my Dad, who spent lots of time in car dealerships. I, on the other hand, did not inherit any of this interest in buying cars. Don’t get me wrong. I love cars. I still can identify every make and model from both the front and the back for the years 1969-1983 as my Dad would quiz me when we did errands.

I am much more practical about cars than my father. I see them as a depreciating asset and a means to get from one place to another. Russ is similar to me. So when Russ and I buy a car we keep it for a very long time. Currently we have four cars and if you totaled up how old they all are it would be 109 years old. Our oldest car is 60 years old, but we are keeping that one.

Tomorrow we are trading in our second oldest car, the Land Cruiser, which is 24 years old and our youngest car, my Cmax which is only 11 years old. They have both served us well and are working great, but we don’t need four cars. So I am trading both in. I am getting another hybrid because you just can’t beat the gas milage. I am also getting a car that in size is in between the Cmax and the Land Cruiser. So I am averaging the two cars into one.

It will be a bittersweet day to see them both drive off together, but I am very excited about my new car to come. The best part about the whole thing is I never had to go to the dealership. I am getting the Car from Massey Toyota in Kinston, which is owned by my friend Molly Kelly’s husband. It has been the easiest way to buy a car ever.

Randy did send a guy to our house to drive my trade ins, unlike my father I had nothing to hide. I drove my friend Debbie’s car, which came from Randy and is the exact model I wanted. Before I hand over the keys and the check tomorrow I will drive the car I am buying just to make sure it is perfect. It is going to be hard to beat the Land Cruiser, but Apple play will help.

Good bye two black cars and hello one Navy blue. It’s and end of the black car era at our house.

No Time for an Additional Game

It’s cold back east. Four days in Scottsdale spoiled me for winter weather. Of course 39° at ten PM is not really cold. It’s just seasonable. It’s just a season I don’t love. I can’t complain as we have another week in nice weather coming right up.

I have a lot to do to get ready for my giant Bahamas class. I am almost finished painting and entire Mah Jongg set of demonstration cards. Today I painted green and red dragons and Jokers. I also put the numbers on the flowers so tomorrow I can paint all the individual flower tiles. I have had so much fun painting these cards that I am going to miss painting. I just know I can’t take on another hobby right now.

My college friends I was with this past week all play Spelling Bee in the New York Times Games. I already play Wordle, Connections and Waffle with them. Spelling Bee is just a line to far for me. The other games take mere minutes and are how I start my day. I can’t spend time trying to find fifty words, or however many there are, each day in Spelling Bee. I am also a terrible speller, so it feels like torture. Though being a bad speller sometimes helps come up with words you don’t even know are words.

For now I will hunker down indoors, stay home and paint. When I’m done with that I might look at a new game.

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity, Jig

The hardest part about reunions is the parting. Four days of telling stories, laughing, playing games, eating and being outside and not sleeping enough makes the leaving sad. Suzanne was the first to leave early this morning.

Jamie, Janet and I all ubered to the airport together and all had lunch beside Jamie’s gate since she was the first to go. Jamie and I were two peas in a pod all week, even pulling out the exact same tiny cheep wallet when paying for lunch. Saying good bye was hard, but we promised to see each other again next year.

Janet and I walked off towards her gate where we parted. Janet was a wonderful hostess. Sadly her flight was next so I had to hop the sky train to get to my terminal. With four hours to kill I walked a lot of the terminal before settling into the centurion Lounge. A nice woman I rode the elevator up with showed me the best secret place to sit. So I hunkered down there and watched a TV show on my iPad. I hate the feeling of being the last one to go and the one with the farthest trip, since Suzanne was just going to Cabo.

Now on the plane I am no longer sad because I get to go home and see Russ and Shay. I might have a better trip if I wasn’t seated next to a young flight attendant sitting in the middle seat who has spent the last two hours taking selfies of herself. It’s crazy what people do on planes, as if no one is watching, but we can’t help but watch.

Of course I am writing this blog right next to her, but feel confident she isn’t reading it because she is too busy taking photos of herself. Just two more hours and it’s home again, home again, jiggity jig.

We got In Quite a Pickle

The fun never stops with this group. Started the day with Mah Jongg. Then I had to sneak out and say I needed to go to the needlepoint store so I could get cupcakes to celebrate Suzanne’s birthday. I did go to the needlepoint store, which was lovely. I parked next to a Bentley so I had to be careful not to touch it when I got out.

Since I was going out I was also sent on errands to fill the car up with gas, stop by the grocery and also buy outdoor pickle balls. Thank goodness there was a tennis shop next to the bakery and the tennis guy had pickle stuff. When I told the owner of the store I felt sacrilegious for buying Pickle balls in a tennis shop. He said it was no problem, but when I responded that it was very “ecumenical” of him, he said, “Did someone get a word a day calendar?”

I have gotten used to living in a university town where everyone uses big words and does not bat an eyelash. This is the land of outdoor activities and fancy cars.

So to keep up with the state residents we played pickle ball this afternoon. It was my first time playing. Jamie was our coach. She told me that the scoring was the hardest part, but it was by far the easiest thing for me. I am quick to pick up rules of games, but that never means I am good at sports.

Surprisingly I did quite well, if only I could figure out exactly where the end of the paddle was. Jamie did great instructing us and it was by far the highlight of our day. Lynn is going to be very surprised if she ever read this.

After pickle, more mah jongg. Then we had to prep for dinner as Janet’s youngest daughter Izzy and her boyfriend Luke were coming over for dinner. We had a great time with them and they were good sports about spending time with four old ladies.

We went right back to mah jongg after dinner and did not want to talk about how sad we are this trip is coming to an end. We are already planning our next reunion. I am going to have to practice my pickle.

Big Culture, Big Play

We started today with our cultural outing of the trip, a visit to Taliesin West, Frank Lloyd Wright’s Western Studio and home. This was something everyone else had done at one time or another, except for me, so it was nice for them to do a repeat. We tried to get tickets for a guided tour, but the user experience for buying tickets left a lot to be desired. First we could not buy four tickets on one device at the same time. So all four of us had to be on our phones at the same time checking to see if we could all get available tickets for the same tour. Once you picked a time, you had to fill in a long list personal details only to discover that the ticket you were trying to buy was gone. When you picked another time you had to refill all your personal details. Blackbaud should pay Talesin West to update the ticket buying system because it is the worst advertisement for a tech company ever, and it says right on the footer of the page, “system by blackbaud.”

Eventually Janet, Suzanne, Jamie and I all found out we could only get audio tour tickets so we did. Then the next tech requirement was unveiled to us; we had to down load the audio tour app on to our phones and we had to listen to the tour through our earbuds. Despite the tech pains the tour and the sight of Talisen West was wonderful.

I don’t always love Frank Lloyd Wright style as I don’t like low furniture and low ceilings, but his site work and placement of buildings and outdoor spaces is spectacular.

When we were listening to our audio instructions for the tour of the outdoors and indoors the presenter says, “please follow the tour in numerical order and do not go backwards.”

We saw Wright’s office and the pool. The landscape is spectacular and the dessert is green right now as they got rain last week. Each listening to our own tour, we sometimes would get a little out of sink. As one person might finish the lecture on the living room and move on the the dinning room, another of us would still be only halfway the living room presentation.

The dining room was a room with only one egress in to and out of the small room. When I finished the recording for that room I went back towards the door to move on to the next stop. I was waiting by the door I had entered to exit and a number of older people were coming into the dining room. While I was waiting for them to pass, busy body Karen was standing, blocking the doorway completely. She looked annoyingly at me and said in the most judgmental tone, “There IS no going backwards.”

With ear’s partially blocked by our ear buds I said to the Karen in my most listen-bitch voice, “the recording tells you to leave this way since it is the ONLY door.”

It was such a nice visit with the exception of this women. My friends and I did get a kick out of her though.

It was good we started with the serious stuff first because the rest of the day devolved into college like behavior. You can bet we are having fun. Way more fun than that Karen ever has.

My apologies to all my wonderful Karen friends. I only use that name here as it will invoke the picture I want, but not a Reflection of you.

Pi Phi Love

It may appear that my blog is late, but that is only true if I were on the East coast, which I am not. I am in Scottsdale, AZ having a reunion of Pi Phi best Dickinson friends, Suzanne, Janet and Jamie! Last year Suzanne and I came to visit Janet and we should have had Jamie with us. So we did a repeat and included Jamie.

We represent the four corner of the country, Jamie in Washington State, Suzanne in New England, I am the South and Janet in the west. There will never be enough time for all the stories we have.

One of the first things Jamie had to show me was a letter I had written to her Dad convincing him that she should get to live off campus with us. After Jamie’s dad passed away her daughter found the letter in a scrapbook along with the letter Jamie wrote her father asking him to let her live with us. We could not believe he had kept them.

Jamie had no idea I just mentioned that letter in my blog so it was hysterical to get to actually see it and reread it. Suzanne said it was probably better than any paper I ever wrote in school. That was most certainly true.

Spending time with these friends in beautiful Scottsdale is hard to beat. We walked, ate, played Mah Jongg and told so many stories. I fear I won’t have a voice left by the end of the week, but it will certainly be worth it. I love these women and have for 45 years. You don’t have to be together much, but you can always pick right back up. It’s Pi Phi Love.

A 12 Hour Turn Around

Finished up Morehead Mah Jongg today with my favorite old men Muppets. (Only they know who they are.). I drove home as fast as I could. Right after I drove through Kinston I got a text from Randy my car dealer. My new car arrived in Kinston today. It was not ready for me to take it, but they will bring it to me Monday. I am so excited.

I couldn’t turn my current car around and go see my new car, because I had to get home. I have 12 hours at home before I leave again. Most of the time I am going to be sleeping. It is nice to see Russ and Shay .

My trip is one for fun. I’m off to Scottsdale to see three wonderful college friends, Janet, Suzanne and Jamie. Suzanne and I went to see Janet last year and we decided we needed to add Jamie to our group this year.

I have not seen Jamie in so many years. She was supposed to be one of my house mates junior year, which took a lot of convincing of her father. He was worried about her not being on the college meal plan. Then he thought Jamie would be better off finishing college Boston so not only was she not my house mate, but not even at college with us at all. Boy did we miss Jamie. I can’t wait to see her.

So for now I am going to sleep early. I have already unpacked and repacked, charged up all my devices and checked my needlepoint. It will be so relaxing to just go on a trip for fun.

My Vagabond Life

I am one lucky vagabond. My plan for four days in Morehead changed completely at the last minute when my hostess got Covid. Our other friend who was going to come down with me had been exposed to Covid also so I came alone.

No problem. I taught my classes and called another friend, Annette who was down here. New plans emerged and I had dinner with Annette last night, ran into Durham Friends Peggy and Walker and they invited us to to their house for the Super Bowl tonight.

When I got there I knew almost everyone as they had all been Mah Jongg students of mine. Walker and Peggy have a beautiful house where we comfortably all gathered to watch the game. Thankfully we all were KC fans, or at least the vocal ones were. With about 11 or 12 people we were actually all interested in the game and watched intently.

My take aways were, the audio on Reba and Usher was not good enough. The first half of the game was dull. Both QB’s did a great job, but you just had to let Mahomes be himself and take the game.

The commercials all had so many stars in them. Sometimes we were just naming the stars as they flashed by and not paying attention to what the ad was about. I did not know where the Africa football ad was going and thought it was exploitive of the NFL to be promoting football in Africa to get future players.

They did not seem to show too much of Taylor, but just enough to keep her fan base tuned in.

The halftime show started slow and ended on a high, but not the best show in my opinion.

But the party at the Harris’ was great and as a vagabond I was thrilled with the last minute invitation for such a fun night.

Now the problem is the game went so long and I was with people all day in class and at a party. I may never go to sleep.

They’re Multiplying Like Rabbits

A new group of 20 cute young women just became the newest Mah Jongg Enthusiasts in Morehead today. It’s been a big week for Mah Jongg. 36 new players in Goldsboro. And tomorrow there will be 16+ beyond beginner players. That’s 72 students in one week.

The Morehead/ Beaufort/ Atlantic Beach area is quickly becoming the second highest concentration of students after Raleigh. Of course there is a big overlap of Raleigh people who also live at the beach too.

The overlap is not just with places it is also the spider web of people. In my class today I had a the daughter-in-law of Henri from Roaring gap. Two daughters and another daughter -in-law of other students. I had the cousin of Warren Brothers. Two college friends of Anne Cherry’s daughter and the boarding school friend of Annette Williamson’s daughter. And those were just the connections that came out randomly. If we had looked I bet we could have have a no less than two degree of separation for everyone in the room with me through Mah Jongg.

It was sad that I did not get to spend time with Anne Cherry, but that freed me up to go to Beaufort and see Annette. I finally got to meet her daughter, who is an English teacher DA, her husband and children. Annette and I went to Blue Moon for dinner and ran into Peggy and Walker Harris and we got invited to a Super Bowl party tomorrow. Walker wants to learn Mah Jongg now.

A girl at the bar recognized me as her Mah Jongg teacher and she is coming to class tomorrow. You can’t throw a stone down here and not hit someone who is connected to me through Mah Jongg. It’s the best. And to think this is all thanks to Reba Huckabee who said six years ago, “Can you come down and teach my friends in Morehead to play Mah Jongg?”

I’ve come full circle here. Today I taught at the spooners creek club house, the first place I taught with Reba all those years ago.

Your Just Have to Roll With It

Sometimes plans change. It happens. The older I get the easy the change in plans are for me.

The plan today was for me to drive to LaGrange, pick up Jen and The two of us were to drive to Morehead to stay with Anne. I have had two different plans to see Anne. She had given me her address and gate code in preparation for my visit.

So I drove to La Grange. I pulled up in Jane’s driveway and she pulled up right after me, having come from the hairdresser. She had beautiful blond locks. We went in the house to see Warren and my phone rang. It was Anne.

“I have Covid.” Oh no. Last time I was supposed to to stay with Anne she was also sick, but it was much worse than Covid. I think I bring Anne bad luck.

“Please go to my place without me.” SAD. I really wa looking forward to spending time with Anne.

Jane looks at me. “I’ve just spent the last two days with Anne.” So no Anne, no Jane.

I came to Morehead alone.

I arrived at Anne’s building. I went to the number she gave me. I walked in. Something felt off. The place just didn’t look like Anne. I looked at the photos on the tables. None were of Anne, or any of her people I have seen in other pictures. I walked by the master bed room. The door was open, the bed was unmade. I don’t think this is Anne’s place.

I got out as quick as I could. I called her. Yes, she had given me the wrong unit number. She was well when she did it. Thank goodness I did not get shot. I got in hers . I knew it was right the second I walked in.

Tonight I had class with my new giant group of young women. It was one of their birthday today so not only did they have lessons, but they also had cake. I was happy to go back to Anne’s to the quiet. I locked the door in case there is someone out there like me, just walking in uninvited. I’ll sleep well tonight.

My Big Day Off

It is not normal for me to work all week and all weekend, but that is the way February seems to be going. I came home from Goldsboro last night. I had today off. Tomorrow I go to Morehead for four days of work. Then I come home Monday night and am off to Phoenix first thing the next morning for four days.

As today is my only day off at home I had a lot of chores to do. The normal stuff like laundry, paper work, scheduling Classes, answering emails. I got a much needed pedicure, but spent most of the day painting Mah Jongg tile cards. I finished 8 & 9 dots and soaps. Only 22 more to go and only three free days to finish them.

Oh yeah, I did one more thing. I bought a new car. This is not something I do often as is evident in the age of the two cars I am trading in, 23 and 13 years old.

I am the exact opposite of my father who bought new cars as often as I buy milk. I researched cars for two years. I kept waiting for the right electric car, constantly calculating how long it would take me to drive to Maine in varying electrics.

As I could never make the math work I bought another hybrid after loving my Ford C-max which has served me well.

I bought the car from one of my Mah Jongg student/friend husband who I met two years ago and like. As all my friends in their town have bought many cars from him. My friend Debbie had the same model I wanted and she got hers from him. I test driver hers in December and knew it was the car I wanted. I felt comfortable making the deal over the phone after he sent a man to look at my trade ins. I still get to drive my exact car when they bring it to me so I can make sure it is perfect. This purchase was easier than buying a refrigerator. When you don’t have any free time to do anything, this was the best way to purchase a car ever.

I don’t have the car yet. It is still on a boat, but am looking forward to its arrival. The only bad thing is I will need to spend some time upon delivery with the car guy setting up the CarPlay system. I am praying Russ is home for that.

Hard Workin’

I love meeting two new groups of wonderful women in Goldsboro this week. They had great senses of humor, especially when I call them by the wrong names. One especially good sport was Missy Carol, newly named by me. Her real name was Missy, but somehow I got in my mind it was Carol. She generously went my Missy Carol the rest of the week.

She started class very skeptical about her ability to learn Mah Jongg. She left as the big winner and a new nickname.

After a big three days in Goldsboro and nights in La Grange I came home tonight for 36 hours. I have 40 more Mah Jongg cards to paint and only a couple of days at home to do I needed to get home.

I picked Shay up from her best sitter Mary. Nothing is better than a Shay reunion. Sadly Russ is away working, so Shay will be confused. Tough to be the puppy of hard working people.

Being off my Tea Schedule

In my normal life I drink unsweetened iced tea from the time I wake up until 3:00pm. Sometimes I make a mistake and am still drinking it at 5pm. The mistake might cause me to have trouble falling asleep.

My body needs iced tea. It is the fuel on which I run. 60 oz. Might be an underestimate.

Being away from home often throws off my tea consumption. This morning my friend Jane told me exactly where to get my first morning tea and I was happy as clam. I went off to work at a country club that it turns out had no food service on Monday and Tuesday. Food is not the biggest issue, but tea was.

After my morning tea I went all day without another drop. By the time I finished my last class it was well after 4:00pm. Too late to start a new tea. I went to Kinston to meet up with friends at the Kinston Country Club. I almost broke down and got a tea there as I could feel all my body chemistry changing due to the lack of tea.

Jane and I went to a restaurant and met up with Warren and Kim and her husband for dinner. I needed a real meal, but really wanted tea. I did not break down and get any as it was now 7:00pm.

The consolation of this almost cold turkey day is I should not have trouble sleeping. I do consider it quite a feet that I did not bite anyone’s head off without my normal tea consumption.

I do have a plan for tomorrow. I am going to get two giant tea’s in the morning. I have lunch plans with some new students and hopefully this good southern club will have tea, but I’m not taking my chances. If I go two days without I will definitely be in full detox and it won’t be pretty.

Bunking with the Brothers

Today was the first day of a new city for Mah Jongg for me. I was happy to share the tiles with the woman in Goldsboro, who took too it nicely. We originally started with one class and it was mobbed so we added a second class. This meant I needed to stay over night. Thankfully Goldsboro is only a few moments from my dear friends Jane and Warren Brothers.

Jane and Warren generously give me the royal guest suite when I visit. The best part is the claw foot tub.

I arrived after class and Jane and I went straight to playing Siamese mah Jongg. It’s nice to get to play after spending a day talking about it. Warren and their cute dog Lucky came in from the farm and finished cooking the dinner Jane had started.

Staying with the Brothers always means the best vegetables you can get anywhere. Warren made a salad and some fabulous black eyed peas.

Clearly the best part of my job is the wonderful friends I have made and the time I get to spend with them when they generously open their home to me.

“Integrity it Priceless.”

Tonight Jerome Powell, the chairman of the Federal Reserve was asked if the Fed considers politics when setting interest rates. He said, they never have and are not going to do it now. His reason was that it is hard enough to figure out what the right thing to do with all the levers they currently use. Politics would just throw in too great a lever.

He summered it up by saying that, “Integrity is Priceless.”

It seems like that should be a given for everyone. How about we go back to teaching our children about integrity. I remember when Carter was little Martha Stewart went to jail for lying about insider trading. It was not for doing the insider trading, but about lying about it.

I told Carter at a tender age that once you lie you are a liar. She understood what happened to Martha Stewart and learned the lesson. Sadly some prominent people don’t think twice bout lying. It’s not right for them and we should push back on turning a blind eye to the lying.

Jerome Powell says it best, “Integrity is priceless.”

Keep Up The Happiness

I have never paid much attention to Taylor Swift. I like her fine, but other than Shake it Off, I am not that familiar with her music. Of course I have not been under a rock and I know about the phenomenon that Taylor and Travis have caused. NFL and the Kansas City Chiefs specifically should be paying Taylor for what she has done for the game.

Ever since the MAGA crowd lost their minds about Taylor I have been a lot more interested in her. Today while I was painting all day I listened to a huge number of Taylor’s songs. I wish I had been listening all along.

The MAGA crowd should hate her, but not because of her dominance of the football coverage, (which is over reported as she is only shown about 30 seconds out of a three hour telecast), but because she is clearly a stronger, more self assured person than any of them will ever be.

I seriously feel like any hate these small-minded, tragic people are spreading about Taylor will just fuel her to greater dominance. I read that 48% of men have never married. That is a sad statistic. Not that marriage itself is the goal, but I feel like many of these men who have never married are the angry mob. Being mad about Taylor is the straw-man for the women they have never had.

Being MAGA is not going to get them a woman they want, there aren’t that many MAGA women to go around. Of course these MAGA men are never going to be a Travis, so Taylor’s are out of reach. But a nice Carol, Susan or Kathy could be in your future if you give up the anger. Shake off the MAGA if you don’t want to be alone for your whole life.

As far as Taylor and Travis go, keep being your happy selves. Nothing makes small, angry people even angrier than you ignoring them.

Tomorrow Will Be All About Dots

I have been diligently painting Mah Jongg Tile Cards in my free time this week. I guess it’s not free time when I am painting. So far I have completed the Winds, the Craks, and the Bams. That’s 88 out of 152 tiles.

I was very worried about painting the One Damn Bird Bam and it was not so bad (If you know you know.) Thank goodness because I still have the complicated flowers to paint. These cards are definitely my artistic rendering of the tiles and not photo copies. I have enjoyed working with water colors, but have not had any fun with colors since I am trying to make the cards very familiar for Mah Jongg Players.

If I didn’t have need for these for teaching they could make a great giant art collage. Tomorrow I will start on the Dots. Making perfect circles is going to be a challenge, but nothing has been close to perfect so far. I am not worried about the flowers, but am not looking forward to the jokers. 64 more cards to go and not that much time. I should be painting now!

February Blessings

For all the complaints about tech there are something’s I love. Today on Facebook I read a post that said, “Life long friendships are one of life’s blessings.” No sooner had I read that when my IPad showed me the photo of the day, a picture of me and my life long friend Suzanne.

I think the photo might have been from her rehearsal dinner because I remembered the pink dress. Suzanne will have to weigh in if that black dress was what she wore. But as a life long friend it could have been a photo from one of many occasions we have shared over the years.

Tech keeps me in touch with Suzanne daily as we share our wordle scores every morning. But we don’t rely on tech only. We will be having a reunion week after next with two other great friends, Janet and Jamie.

So I am looking forward to all these blessing coming in the month of February. A new Mah Jongg city to conquer next week and a visit with the Brothers, a trip to Moorhead for two classes, a trip to Phoenix, a week with my pals at CCC and then Mah Jongg week at Lyford. Happy February everybody.