“Lady, February Never has 31 Days.”

I got a text while I was teaching tonight. Fraud Alert on my Amex. Turns out some bozo tried to spend $2,065 at some Pet Store. I clicked the button that said it was fraud.

When I got out of class Amex wanted me to call them. I did and sat on hold for 20 minutes. Amex fraud needs to improve their hold music. I never got any annoying voice during the entire 20 minutes telling me, “your cal is important to us, please stay on the line.”

I thought I might have gotten in some death loop and hung up and called back. Same horrible music, but only 18 minute hold. Got a rep who after talking to me two minutes the line went dead. Thankfully she called me back. I was not about to hold again.

In good fraud protection she said they wanted to change my number and send me a new card. Been there, done that. I knew this drill, even though I hate learning a new card number.

“When will my new card get here?”

“February 31.”

I just about lost it. “A month!”

She repeated the same date with a YES. Wait a minute. “Lady, February never has 31 days.”

The line was quiet for a minute.

“Oh, January 31.” Not a laugh, or I’m sorry.

Fraud protection is not a laughing matter.