Marriage Success

Russ called me and related to me a conversation he had with some of his junior team members about how hard it is to meet a good potential spouse. He told them our story of the ten day courtship and it gave a few of them a little hope. I asked him if he suggested they look for an engineer to marry? He admired that he had not thought of that. “I wonder what the divorce rate of engineers is?” He wondered to me.

While we were still on the phone I pulled up a site that ranked the divorce rates by profession, per year. It had the most comprehensive list of 511 professions, many I found to be strange groupings, such as “Food and tobacco roasting, baking and drying machine operators and tenders.” For the record they don’t make reliable spouses because they divorce at a rate of 29.78 per year.

I was right about engineers as good spouses because as a group, all engineers put together make the least likely to divorce, in the single digits. The worst profession to be married to is a dancer and choreographer at 43.05%. That is way above the next closest one of bartenders at 38.43%. Then Massage therapists, 38.22, and gaming cage workers 34.66, not to be confused with gaming service workers at 31.34%. But coming right between the two groups who work at casinos is extruding and forming machine settlers, operators and tenders, synthetic and glass fibers at 32.74%. I am not sure I have ever heard of those jobs, let alone know anyone who has ever been that, but they don’t stay married long.

As I was reading the list to Russ he asked me, “what about sales people?” since that was what I was when he married me. I started to troll down the list. I went past fence erectors at 19.57%, mathematicians at 19.17%, upholsterers at 18.92% and finally found parts salespersons at 18.77%. Russ said, “No, you sold whole machines.” I kept scrolling down.

Insurance Underwriters at 18.5%, crossing guards 18.17%, then I found Sales and related workers, all other 18%. Seemed not quite right. I kept going still looking for Russ’ original profession of electrical engineer.

Producers and directors 17.68%, private detectives and investigators 17.41%, Glaziers 17.28%. Interestingly Gaming managers came in at 17.06 % so if you can rise to though the ranks in a casino your relationship might just make it too. Paper hanger 16.48%, then I came to the average US divorce percentage at 16.35%, so everything I have listed so far is worse than the average.

Parking lot attendants were better at 16.02% as were writers and authors at 15.92%, but still looking for electrical engineers. Railroad brake, signal and switch operators 15.29%, I guess they don’t meet many people on the rails. Funeral service workers 14.76 %, not tempted by anyone at work, septic tank services and sewer pipe cleaners 14.07%, well if they actually got someone to marry them and do their laundry they better hold on to them.

Preschool and kindergarten teachers 13.02%, there is a reason you always likes your kindergarten teacher, loyalty. Then the scientists started to appear, chemical and materials scientists 12.01%. Finally electrical and electronic engineers at 10.5%. Russ was very close to the bottom. Chief executives 9.81 %, they probably can’t afford to get divorced.

But I kept going and to my surprise I found my first real job, the one Russ was asking about, sales engineer at 6.61%. My title was sales engineer not because I had any engineering background whatsoever, but because that was what IBM called their sales people. I beat Russ!

At the bottom of the list was optometrists at 4.01% and agriculture engineers 1.78%.

My take away from this list is what I knew in my heart all along, engineers make terrific spouses and whatever you do don’t work in a casino as a dancer, bartender or gaming worker or marry one, unless you are the boss.