She Can’t Fall

I don’t know what kind of epidemic is going around my friends, but I seem to be surrounded by women who are having bugling disk issues. As far as I know my disks are Ok, I just am having bulging problems, but I know what causes that.
After playing Mah Jongg with one disk impaired friend I took soup over to another newly bulged friend. She was fine when she woke up this morning, but did something that caused an injury that left her unable to walk. Thank goodness her son was able to take her to the doctor’s office. As soon as they checked her in they put two hospital bracelets on her. The white ID one with all medical record numbers on it and a very special bright yellow one, that read “FALL RISK.” 
She showed me this new bit of bling when I got to her house and we got a big chuckle out of it. What lawyer decided certain patients needed to be marked as possibly not being able to hold themselves up? I asked my friend if while wearing that bracelet at the medical facility was she constantly surrounded on all sides by medical personnel capable of catching her if she tilted one way or another. “No! And I was identified as a risk.”  
I wondered if she was allowed to stand up, even though she might keel over at any moment. “Yes, no one stopped me or helped me when I had to get out of a chair.”  
So, what is the point of the bracelet? Seems like if she fell once she had been branded as a “fall risk” the medical facility would be at even greater liability since they knew she might fall and get hurt. My friend was already hurt and could hardly stand, therefore had little opportunity to fall.
I am thinking that as my friends and I age we are all “FALL RISK”’s. Maybe Kate Spade or some other designer/bling producer should be making FALL RISK jewelry. I want to give people fair warning that at any moment I might topple over right on top of them. I may be less legally responsible if I have pre-announced that I am a danger. Then again I probably need a bunch of bracelets that read thing like “STRONGLY OPINIONATED”. Just seems like I would be covering my ass then.