Things I’ve Learned in Mexico This Week

I don’t like speed bumps on the highways.
Everyone’s car is white so using that as the descriptor to say which car is yours does nada.
You don’t want any people who bought the all inclusive package to sit near you at the pool. They are trying to maximize their investment by drinking four times as much as the plan cost.
If you are in the market for a pan flute you can find one on every corner cheap.
Mexican food on the Mayan Riviera is never spicy enough for Russ Lange.
The Mexican waiters with the best English all lived in the states in grade and or high school, but chose to come back and live and work in their homeland.
Guacamole is an every meal option.
Driving in Mexico is easy as long as you practiced in New York City at some point in your life.
Imodium is a prescription drug here, when it is over the counter in the states, but viagra is over the counter.
Mariachis must keep playing in their bands because their matching pants are so tight they can’t get them off to do anything else.
I should just order an appetizer as my dinner because the portions are always too big.
I don’t really like pan flute music.

A lot of the clothes look alike.

Everyone is friendly, even the people on the all inclusive plan.