Turkey Experiments

Last week my Dad called me and asked me what I knew about frying a turkey. “Just that people burn their houses down when they do it,” was all I had to say.  
“Have you seen the new Butterball indoor deep fat turkey fryer?” 
“Dad, where would I have seen that?”
“On the Bass Pro Shop channel.”
Does my Dad know me?  
By the time my Dad had called me he had already spent hours researching, watching videos and reading everything available online about frying a turkey. So he bought the new table top fryer. 
We arrived at the farm today and he told me about his hour long conversation with the customer service rep in Georgia and that he was ready to fry the bird. “According to all my studies it will take between 65-74 minutes.” This was great news since it was already afternoon and our guest would be arriving soon for a three o’clock dinner.
When the appointed time to cook the bird came the assembled congregation went down to the office barn, the newly appointed frying area, because my Dad wanted to cook it outdoors, even though it was an indoor unit.  
He plugged it in and nothing happened. Russ, the family electrical engineer, was engaged in the detective work. Adam, the strongest young man here, was enlisted to help move the fryer to a new outlet. After a few worry filled moments where we thought we might not be having turkey for thanksgiving since we only had a raw bird and not enough hours in the day to cook it conventionally, the circuit breaker was resent and the fryer began the important oil heating phase. During that time Shay, who had been circling the raw turkey was able to get one lick of the raw bird. Thank goodness we were about to immerse it in scalding oil. We were only a half hour behind schedule.
True to all the studies my father emerged from the office barn at the main house with a perfectly cooked bird. I was the anointed carver and have to say it was the most perfectly cooked bird I had ever cut in to and it only took 65 minutes.
There was not a hint of oil to be found anywhere on the bird. I am thankful that we avoided fires, fights and salmonella. All in all that makes for a good thanksgiving and I did not have to watch one minute of the Bass Pro Shop channel.