No Amateur Grocery Shoppers Two Days Before Thanksgiving

I had to go to Costco and the Harris Teeter today. God help me. There was no way around it. I calculate how early I can shop for my fresh Thanksgiving ingredients and go as far in advance of turkey day as possible. I want to do everything I can to stay outside of stores selling food. Thanksgiving is when everyone cooks, those who know how and those who really shouldn’t be allowed in the kitchen.  
Sadly, based on the people I see in grocery stores these days the cooking disabled far out number the capable. This observation is based on the many rookie questions I have heard in the store. One middle aged woman, holding a jicama, asked me if it was a shallot. Now if she had been holding a green onion I might have felt like she at least was in the right family, but a jicama, really? 
I overheard a husband, standing in front of the butter fridge on the cell phone telling his wife that he could not tell which butter was made out of milk, since they did not say “buttermilk” on the packages. I silently picked up the jug of buttermilk from the milk fridge and handed it to him as I passed by. I was so tempted to turn back and look at him, but I withheld. I did hear a faint, “Oh,” as I neared the end of the aisle.
What I really wish is that stores would have one hour set aside for the regular shoppers who know where and what everything is, who can drive a cart at a fast speed and still not hit any end cap displays. What I encountered today at Costco is my worst nightmare. The store was full of out of town relatives, walking four or five a breast, casually sauntering through the store.
There was no sense of urgency to get their list done and get home to get cooking. No, they were mostly likely sent out by their in-town family to get them out of the house. The 3 college aged girls with their grandma who each had their own carts and pushed them in unison at a snails pace were my least favorite “shoppers.” I use that term very loosely because not one of them had an item in their carts but they insisted on going four wide down an aisle made for two. If I had an uzi I might have used it.
Perhaps it would also be a good idea to leave grandma home to watch the toddlers and send mom out to the store alone, not the other way around. The number of grandparents trying to navigate a foreign Costco with small children and no parent was disturbing. I caught one kid who was trying to escape from his cart head first as his clueless grandfather left him twenty feet away from the pie section he was perusing. This time I was not as silent as my buttermilk encounter.  
All these amateurs out shopping threw me off my game. It was not until I was home that I realized I had left off my entire appetizer list. OH SH$t. I have to go to the store tomorrow.