Replacements Field Trip

My friend Lane and I took a field trip today to Replacements, the largest seller of china, crystal and silver in the world. Since both Lane and I like china and silver it seemed like a fun place to go. When I say we like china I should clarify that Lane likes china and I have a genetic mutation that make me love china. I inherited this gene from my mother, which is funny since she does not care about food or eating, just china.
The giant warehouse and showroom house something like 12 million pieces of china according to our tour guide. I think that estimate is low based on the ten football fields we walked through with shelves twenty feet high.
After viewing a portion of the inventory I think I need to clarify my genetic mutation description. I do not have an uncontrollable irrational love of all china, just the patterns I consider to be beautiful and they are a small percentage of the china available. For the most part I have to say most of what Replacements has to replace is ugly. Now before anyone gets up in arms, just consider why most of the 12,000 china patterns they carry are discontinued in the first place.  

Of course there are the gorgeous Flora Danica, museum quality plates, but then there are the ugly plates covered with roses. No comparison.
The silver was my favorite section. The incredible narrow uses of a things like the asparagus serving tray with a pierced piece to set the green spears on so that they would not sit in water and get soggy seemed beautiful, but not an everyday item. There was one big ass dog bowl that was at least 14 inches across that could be used everyday. Of course it was not listed as a dog bowl, but a center piece with four candle sticks. At just under $9,000 I guess your dog would get to stand on the table and eat their food from that silver bowl. The candle light is just a nice added touch for the dog that has everything.
I am most proud that neither Lane nor I made any snickering remarks during our tour, despite the desire to comment on the glasses that looked like Ronald Mc Donald. I can’t wait to see where our next field trip will be. The tackier the better.