Bad Essays
Posted: May 24, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 Comment
It’s a good thing I am not in college admissions. I am much too hard on applicants. Tonight I went to a talk a school given by an admissions director at UNC. He gave a very informative talk about how admission’s committees read applications. He was giving us the big overview, not the UNC specifics.
He talked all about the stuff I feel like has been drilled into my head, about kids taking an academically rigorous course load, constant improvement, how important teacher recommendations are and the Valhalla of a strong essay.
One thing that rang most true to me is this bit of advice, “if a friend found your essay on the ground, with no name on it, and read it, they should know instantly that it is yours.” Ta-da! The key for all writing, your voice should ring through.
After the introductory talk he gave us two actual application packets, of course with no names. They were the application, the essays, the transcript, the letters of recommendations, the whole shabang. We were told to read them and then we discussed the strengths and weakness of each application.
I hated all the essays. In one application that had two essays they did not read like they were written by the same person. There was no distinct voice and I did not feel like I got to know the writer any better after reading them. The real turn off was the essay that says why the student wanted to go to UNC. Practically every sentence began with “I”. “I will be a great asset to the University,” “I have something the school can benefit from,” “I am a leader,”… I, I, I.
Yes, you want to sell yourself to a school, but the last thing you want to be is a used car salesman. “I’ve got the perfect car for you. I know you will love it. Have I got a deal for you.”
The second application we read had an essay where the student thought so little of a teacher who took over a class mid-year that he asked if he could teach the class. He boasted that the grades on the test for the section he taught were the highest for the whole year.
Humility is a fine line to walk, but it feels like it is the tone that was missing from all the essays we read. First, I want to get to know someone, then I want to learn something about how they have grown, learned, changed, evolved or discovered something about themselves. Plus they need to do it in a short, concise manner and throw in a little humor. It is a tall order. No wonder it seems daunting.
I have no idea what I wrote about in my college essay. I was not a good writer or even a practiced writer, and my life of story telling was just beginning. What I do know is that at the age of 17 or 18 you don’t have to have some earth shattering story to tell. You don’t have to be the best at something, in fact it is probably better if you never claim you are great at anything. Just be human. Show how something someone did made you feel and how that made you act differently after that. Be vulnerable, be curious, be yourself.
If I were a college admissions officer I would only hope to admit those people whose voice I truly could hear and I liked.
Less Dana, More Good 
Jack applied to University of Richmond. Sometime after his application was in, we, his parents, received a letter from the president of the university. He asked us “what would you tell me about your student that will not come through on his application – what would you want us to know”. I wrote about how at an early age Jack learned about balance – playing outdoors and playing video games, self-discipline getting his assignments done and playing with friends, volunteering in something he loves and attacking those things that aren’t so attractive to give time to, etc. It was a wonderful time for ME to look at his life, what kind of job I had done, and whether he was on the right track to be on his own at college.