Flash Back to My Old Life 

Today Russ’ company had their Q4 meeting and holiday party. I am used to going to the party since I am the supportive spouse. But today, I also went to the meeting, not as the consultant I used to be, but as the art director for the photographer that was shooting shots of the meeting to be used on the company website.
Coincidentally, my Dad was also at the meeting, not as the boss he was when I worked for him, but as the elder statesman and inspirer of the company that Russ and his partner Rich started 18 years ago. As I stood in the back of the conference room listening to my Dad tell stories about working many years ago as a consultant the last years I have spent as a mother fell away and I was transported back to my previous life.
Sometimes it feels like I have lived many different lives. One informs the other, but they don’t easily blend together. Life in boarding school is compartmentalized to a three year period, then college four. My first job, selling mail opening machines, while at the same time running á la Carter, my catering business, even though those two things happened at the same time, they had very little cross over with each other, like living two lives at the same time. Then my life as a consultant, with mostly international work and marriage. And one day I quit my job to have a baby. The end of my work identity and a whole new life had to be developed.
The only constant in that last part was Russ. He supported me in finding new things, Durham Magazine, the Food Bank and life in Durham. But today, busy as I am with Carter having exams this week and me getting ready for Christmas I stopped everything to spend this day as a fly on the wall in my old life. I listened to presentations, talked to consultants, looked at marketing plans. It was easy to fall right back into step with the language and the tenor.

It was fun to spend time with young people who are doing interesting work.
Do I miss that old life? Probably not because I really like my regular life now. What I do know is it is best to have one life. I have tried doing two things at once and that is much too hard. You are never fully in one thing so you are missing something or feeling like you aren’t doing your best all the time. In the end you really can’t repeat yourself, but a visit back, for just a day, was just fine.