Too Old or Too Young for a Bib

Today I came home from lunch with my Friend Kelly at the new place downtown, Dashi and noticed that I had quite a few stains on my shirt from my delicious soup. Try as I might I obviously enjoyed my meal with too much vigor because I had evidence of it all over me.   How I wish that I had worn a bib, but I hardly ever see any adults who have all their faculties wearing them in public.

When we were in Italy I did notice that one restaurant in Positano, Chez Black, had giant cloth adult bibs, not just to use, but for sale. How wonderful it is when an establishment makes it fashionable to keep your fashions pristine while still enjoying your meal.

In Russ’ family there is great lore about what a messy eater his great Aunt Jo was. I can attest that she never met a meal she could not help wearing. When Russ’ Dad and his brother Richard were little boys, Aunt Jo lived with them. She was the breadwinner in the family since their father had been injured in an accident.

The boys, when they were young, would tease her about how she always spilled something on her crisp white work blouse. Considering her importance to their existence it seems like they should have cut her some slack.

Story goes that one night when their mother had made spaghetti with red sauce the boys bet Aunt Jo that she could not eat her entire meal without getting any sauce on her shirt. She accepted her young nephews challenge and then got up from the table and got a big white towel, which she draped over herself. The boys squealed in protest that she was cheating and she said they needed to be more precise in the language they used to challenge her.

The family ate the whole dinner and Aunt Jo did not even get a dot of tomato sauce on the towel. The boys were astonished. After putting her fork down on her empty plate, she pulled the towel off with a great flourish and “ta-da” and the boys broke into great hysterics. There, right in the center of her white blouse was a huge blob of tomato sauce. How it got there, no one is quite sure, but it sealed the lore of her always spilling on herself forever and ever.

I may not actually be a blood relative of Aunt Jo, but I think I married into the right family based on the amount of food I have on me today.