Roman Undergarments?

Right before I am about to go to Rome the Spanx catalog arrived. Since I am giving myself permission to eat like a normal human while I am in the country that elevated eating to it’s highest level it makes me wonder if I should have bought more Spanx for this trip. I am a little worried that by day three of vacation eating my clothes will not fit.

I have never seen an entire book of garments meant to squeeze and smooth you in so many ways. I had no idea I was supposed to be wearing full leg length sausage casings under my jeans; then again I am not one of those 20-something skinny jean wearing with stilettos types. From what I can tell there are bras, panties, things just for your middle and ones for your back, long line, thigh length, butt lifting, hip squeezing, waist cinching, tunic long spandex.

Since I limit myself to one carry on roll-aboard I see no way to bring so much body smoothing wear unless I just gave up wearing actual clothes on top. Of course the other option is to wear it all on the plane. I can only imagine what kind of hospitalization I would need if I were to wear such confining items on a transatlantic flight.

“Why are you being admitted to the hospital in Rome?’

“Because I squeezed myself too much in anticipation of eating Rome’s finest food.”

I am sure immigration would deny me entry. Thank goodness I know very few people in Rome and the ones I do love me whatever my shape. I am going there without one shape wear item. I am going to just have to let the bulges be where they may and thoroughly enjoy my trip.

I know that the Italians look great naturally without the aid of ace bandage like binding. There is no reason to try and pretend I am anything but a soft American. I’ll save the Spanx for my return when I am going to have to go back into monk like living to pay for my Roman sins.