The Ice Storm Crazy

“Why are you buying fish?” came the question from a strange voice behind me as I stood at the seafood counter.

Practically before I could even turn around to see if that question was aimed at me came the follow-up, “Don’t you know we are getting an ice storm?”

There, looking like Helen Thomas, famed white house AP reporter, stood a small elderly woman who was staring right at me. Since no one else was in the vicinity I assumed she was talking to me.

“My daughter wants flounder for dinner,” I told her, even though it wasn’t any of her business.

“Doesn’t she know we are getting an ice storm?”

“Yes,” I said, as if this conversation was going in a rational direction.

I looked at the short, but robust old woman and then to her cart, which had the requisite ice storm groceries of white bread, milk, toilet paper and frozen pizza in it. I assumed she too must be buying fish since based on the contents of her cart she had already made a sweep of the store.

“Are you buying fish?” I asked in my most polite, I am a southerner, even if I don’t give a shit way.

“No, that is crazy. Who buys fish for an ice storm?”

It was all I could do to hold back from saying, “What business is it of yours lady? And why are you even all the back in the corner of the store if you are not buying fish?” But I didn’t. Society would frown on that.

Instead I went the other direction of trying to out crazy the crazy and said, “Haven’t you heard that if you eat fish before an ice storm you won’t lose power at your house?”

As if on cue, the fishmonger handed me my package of flounder and I was able to thank him and make a quick get away before Helen Jr. could pepper me with more questions.

Oh, the joys of impending bad winter weather in the south. It really brings out the ones who are normally locked in.