Stop The Political Babbling It’s Making Me Fat

Between the television and radio ads, phone calls, e-mails, face book posts and the junk mail I can’t seem to get away from political babbling. I know I am not unique, but this political back and forth fighting has gotten into my subconscious. I must have fallen asleep with the TV on last night because I had a dream that Thom Tillis with a giant head and tiny body was running down a gravel road chasing me while I was riding on the back of an ostrich.

OK you dream analyzers, what the hell does that mean? I wish I were an ostrich and could put my head in the sand until after the election is over. I know who I am voting for so there is no matter of slashing the opponent ads that will make me change my mind. I do feel like all this name-calling and bad mouthing is causing me to eat bad for me food.

I know it sounds lame to blame politicians for my weakness, but why not? They blame each other for everything else that is wrong with the world. When I was in college my favorite course was called “History Writing”. We had this little 100-page textbook called, “How to lie with statistics.” In this class we learned how to write history to tell the story we wanted to tell, the angle we already decided we wanted history to portray or the version of the story we wanted the world to adopt. Can you say propaganda? I think that if I did not go to a liberal arts school this course might have been called “Marketing 201.”

It is my feeling that all this public finger pointing and personal bashing is filling the air with a negativity that people try and overcome personally by eating, drinking and smoking too much. I think it would be a really interesting study to see if the population of North Carolina got fatter during the time leading up to this enormous election.

If we could prove that negative campaigning made people fatter we could stop politicians from running negative ads. No one wants to be the candidate that causes his or her potential constituents to gain weight. Everyone would want to vote for the person who made him or her thinner or at least did not make them try and drown out the bickering with food.

Just a few more weeks and we can go back to do nothing politicians being quiet about their lack of getting anything done. Imagine that I am looking forward to that day.