Not How I Look, But How I Make You Feel

This morning I went to a talk at Carter’s school given by Jean Kilbourne who is an authority on the image of women in advertising. She opened the discussion by showing us a fifteen minute film of a Ted X talk she had given on the topic. She clearly is an expert on the subject, but I have to say that many of the examples she showed us were very old ads. The parent talk was in advance of the one she was going to be giving to our children later today.

When I picked Carter up from school I asked her what she thought of the presentation. She remarked that the ads Jean used in her talk seemed dated and not as relevant to the world Carter lives in now.   We talked about the Dove real beauty ads and how much of the ad world is coming to appreciate what real people look like. But quickly we got to the issue of how someone makes you feel and not what he or she look like.

I have no Photoshop skills; I don’t even have the program on my computer. Although I appreciate judicious cropping of a photo, mostly so you can get a closer look at someone’s face, I don’t like the idea of changing how someone looks in a photo. In all the photos on this blog I actually do almost the opposite. I put photos with poor lighting, unattractive positions and real life full body shots so when someone sees me in person they think I look better than my blog.

Why in the world would someone Photoshop an unrealistic picture of himself or herself to the point of being unrecognizable in real life. If we only put beautiful pictures out in the universe it may inhibit our desire to actually go out in the world and be seen live. I don’t want to have try and live up to myself. I just want to be myself. I also don’t want my existence to be tied to my image, but rather to the way I make someone feel.

The point that Carter and I came to together after our exposure to the subject is that we are happy being ourselves. I love that my daughter takes crazy selfies and posts “weird” pictures. We are who we are both in 2-D and in real life. If you see one you will recognize the other. No retouching, improving, airbrushing, or photoshopping.

This is my glasses on, end of day, no hair brushed, little makeup, bad lighting selfie. What I hope is that in person I appear a little better because I am making you laugh because of what I am saying or make you feel good about yourself because I am asking you about yourself. I don’t care if you think I look better than my picture. I care that I make you feel something, and hopefully that feeling is positive.