The Fine Line

I am a person who likes to get things done, has big ideas about improving things and has a hard time keeping my opinions to myself. I feel like most problems in the world can be solved if worked on and I see so many things that need work. On the other hand I really enjoy doing fun things that have no real world changing purpose other than making me happy. Then there is the middle ground, the stuff I need to do to keep me healthy and well, not really fun and not making an impact on any one but my family and me.

How to walk that fine line between taking care of myself, doing what is needed for my husband and child, helping my friends, and the world and then the just plain selfish hedonistic things is a balancing act I’m not sure I’ve mastered yet.

When I was first out of college I worked a full-time traveling salesman job and had a catering business on the side. That left no time whatsoever for me to have much fun, nor really give back. My mantra was to make as much money as I could; it was the 80’s after all. Greed was good, was the theme of the decade.

Thank goodness I outgrew that mode, the greed one, but I still worked too hard and did too little self-care. I also had not learned the word, “No.” If I noticed a problem I often volunteered to fix it. Frequently I was the one pointing out problems, which meant that I was practically obliged to offer to help.

My worst enemy is my mouth. I just did not know when to keep it shut. Just because I could help fix a failing system did not mean I had to be the one that did it. I blame my father for my shortcoming, or over confidence in this area. He told me from a very young age that I could do anything. I came to believe he was right about that, everything except climbing the robe to the top of the gym ceiling. He was also the one who taught me that if I could not do it to talk my way out.

Now, I would like to do less, offer fewer solutions, let others figure things out, or just live with an imperfect world. That is hard on me. I practically have to go through life with blinders on. It is not that I have the only answer or even the right answer; I really just want to get the conversation started and have others help fix the world.

So please understand if I turn down your request for help, or don’t volunteer I’m working on finding balance. That means I have to be less bossy, not in charge, have fewer opinions. You think I can’t do it? Yeah I know.