Small Plates are Only Good for Me in the Singular

The small plate movement in the restaurant and catering world sounds like it would be the perfect diet solution for a person like me.  Instead of a giant plate of food being put down in front of me there are multiples of little tiny plates each with their perfect three bites.

In theory fewer bites would be better than more, but the reality is not the case.  Small plate servings tend to be more fattening because there is little filler food, like plain vegetables or simple potatoes, which can be ignored.   If a chef is only giving you three bites they want to make sure that they “Wow” you and in my experience, “Wow” almost always equals more calories.

I have never seen a small plate of just grilled zucchini.  If zucchini were even the subject of a small plate then a rich sauce, perhaps a Romanesco would be included and them an obscene amount of oozing cream laden burrata—that’s the richer and more attractive cousin of mozzarella, a few toasted pistachios, a drizzling of the finest olive oil with one drop of perfect balsamic vinegar and a literal pinch of micro greens.  Oh yeah, and the zucchini would not just be grilled instead it would be rolled in panko and Parmesan. That’s how you get zucchini in the small plate world.

Now that I have concluded that what is on the small plate is above my calorie grade let’s throw in the other issue – “It’s small, I can have more.”  Followed by, “How many have I had?”

When I get a dinner on one plate I am able to access how much I should eat before I begin eating.  “Is that piece of meat 4 or 8 ounces?”  “Are the vegetables swimming in butter?”  Based on my overall calculations I can determine if I need a take home box before I even begin eating.  This is not an option in small plates.  Have you ever seen anyone ask for a doggy bag for one bite?  Ok, besides someone who is related to me and shall remain nameless since Christmas is coming.

It is much harder math if you have to keep adding up one plate after another.  Well, the math is not hard, but I do get tired of doing it.  I guess it becomes a math weakness issue.

I am all for smaller plates in general so my eyes think I am getting a full plate, but I need to get all my food at once and not drawn out over an extended period of time dribbled out a few fantastic bites at a time.  Yeah the idea of savoring something perfect should make me happy, but in reality a few more less than perfect bites giving me higher quantity and filling me up is the way I need to go.  I guess it is just too late to become one of those ladies who just picks at her food.