The Real American Problem
Posted: September 14, 2013 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: Young parents 5 Comments
Everyone who knows me knows I have a passion for the Food Bank. That being said I do not think that hunger is the worst problem in America. Don’t get me wrong, hunger is a real big problem that stems from poverty, but there is a bigger problem that no one in any place of power will dare deal with and that is the problem of people having children too young.
Today on my way to Washington DC I stopped at a Panera Bread in Petersburg, VA because I knew I could get an edible salad fast. Petersburg is not a tiny, nor poor place and I think that half the town was at this same Panera when I was. As I stood in the line that ran out the door waiting to order I had more than enough time to observe, over hear and be thoroughly annoyed by the family in front of me. It was made up of a 35 year old grand mother, her four daughters who’s ages ranged from about 11-17 and a grand daughter who was over one and not yet able to speak words.
I am not guessing at all that information, but got it verbatim as the family fought with each other while waiting in line. The mother of the baby, the bleached blond texting in the picture, was the second oldest child and clearly was already tired of being a mother as she tried to hand off her child to her siblings. Her mother begged off from holding the screaming child since it was her 35th birthday today.
I thought I had shaken this group when I went to sit down, but they soon followed me and sat at two tables across from me for their so happy, familial meal to celebrate their mother’s birthday. Her two youngest children sat at a table alone having tired of their mother hitting them in the waiting line.
The thing I witnessed that really threw me over edge and thus made this family the subject of my ranting blog today was not only did they not get any food for the baby, but the blond mother poured sweet tea form her own cup into a smaller cup for the baby. It was obviously not the first time this child had drunk sweet tea because she would down it and scream for more in her nonverbal way. The very young mother got terribly annoyed by her child drinking all her tea and since she was busy texting she screamed over to her younger sisters sitting at their own table to ask them to get her sweet tea refills. At one point she ripped off a hunk of bread and put it in front of the baby who would have none of it because it was not sugary nor full of caffeine. Lord help this poor child and her future teeth.
We need help for our country full of children being raised by children. I have nothing against single people having children as long as they are old enough and have the resources to care for their offspring. I have no problem with same sex partners having families. Some of the best behaved kids I know have either two Moms or two Dads. But the human brain is not developed enough to properly parent a child until it is at least 25. Before all you young parents scream at me ask yourselves if you had help with your kids when you were young, or had good jobs and were already well educated. That makes a big difference. But if someone is under 25, without much education, money or support raising a child is going to have a hard time. I know it’s not politically correct to say, but the continuation of very young people having children is the biggest long term problem we face as a country. I am not holding out much hope that this sweet child I witnessed today has a bright future. Please let me be wrong.
Less Dana, More Good 
Dan Quayle call your office….
Potatoe
Yikes, Dana. I hope you felt better after your rant. Witnessing dysfunctional families is never pleasant. Petersburg actually is poor, currently and historically. I pass through it often on the way to visit my parents in Richmond or James in Williamsburg, and I was surprised Panera Bread has a location there. Also, are you saying people in their early twenties cannot be effective parents due to lack of neurological, social, or economic development? Teenage pregnancy has been a problem in this country for a long time, and if judgemental attitudes provided positive solutions, it would have been solved a long time ago. Again, I hope you felt better after your rant.
Laura, I stand corrected on Petersburg’s economic condition. Being poor does not mean one is a bad parent, it just creates added pressure. The science is growing that the human brain is not fully developed until the mid twenties when the frontal lobe and the neural insulation are complete. Until then self-centeredness and not fully understanding what consequences will come from your actions is still in play. My “rant” is that being a parent is very hard work, a job best taken on by people who are at least fully developed. I am judgmental about the issue because I think that if we don’t encourage all people to be prepared before becoming parents we continue to have many children who are disadvantaged by being raised by children. And I don’t feel better after my “rant” I feel sad.
Walter Williams, the African-American economist, has tackled this issue in the most common sense pragmatic way. Everyone should read his comments on 70% out-of-wedlock births in the black community ( it’s still pretty high in the white community too). There is no clearer path to poverty than this. It adds to drop-out rates, low-skilled employment if a job at all, government subsidies, and a snowball effect for generations now. My son, who volunteers with the D.L. Forbes Youth Foundation, sees the disintegration of the family and the devastation first hand. He told me the scariest thing a couple of years ago. For many years, the grandmother was the stable one in the family who stepped in to help raise children when the mother had dropped out of school or was a drug addict etc. Now, the grandmother is the original drug addict. The era of having a generation of stability in the black community is over. Think about it.
And this is also the problem with education. Until there is a solution to lack of family stability, anything we do on education is playing “whack-a-mole”. But then no one wants to address the seed of the problem, just throw money at it. It hasn’t worked and it won’t work.
In my humble opinion, leadership in the African-American community must address and solve this. It will never be solved unless they take ownership of the root of the downfall of their community.