Spanx Swim Pants- Where Are You?

Spanx have spoiled me.  I love those leg-thinning-long-line-panties that hold in not only your tummy, but also your butt and most importantly your thighs.  The advent of Spanx have enabled me to wear more body hugging dresses without the fear that parts of me are giggling in an unsightly way.

I noticed that Spanx in their product expansion to take over the world also moved into the bathing suit arena.  Hooray!  At last, perhaps there will be a thigh lifting swim suit or at least a thigh covering model, but no.  Spanx is yet to figure out how to take their most popular product, the mid thigh firmer and turn it into something that could be worn around the pool.

Spanx has spoiled every woman I know.  Nary a friend will leave the house without her favorite foundation garment, but all that squeezing and shaping makes wearing a regular old swim suit a scary proposition.  There must be a way to grab those upper thighs by the loose and lumpy skin and pull them up to a place that could be hugged tight by the revolutionary spandex.  Reconfiguring our naked selves into a more svelte and tight model is the desire of most females and Spanx has been happy to oblige all these years.

If it means that we are going to have to make a fashionable bike short model swimsuit so be it.  Perhaps if the bottom half was nude colored with some strategically place color blocks it might not appear too strange.

So I implore you Spanx designers, get on the long leg design swimsuit.  The butt-lifting enhancement is also a good feature.  I promise it will be a hit.  While we’re at it the waist nipping and boob support all in the same suit will ensure your dominance in the swimwear arena. 

For now I will sport the wrap around cover-up skirt and pray that no one is paying attention between by chaise lounge and the water, but a pair of Swim Spanx seems like the answer to my dreams.