Lather, Rinse and Repeat

Long ago when I could still read mice type found on shampoo bottles without the aid of shower readers, I found the instructions “Lather, rinse and repeat,” lacking an ending to their story.  The idea that someone needs shampoo instructions is somewhat comical.  I don’t know about you, but by the time I was able to wash my own hair I had mastered the order and I probably was still too young to read.

I am wondering if the marketing department of shampoo makers thinks we will really keep repeating the three steps over and over until the bottle is empty.  The addition of one word might clarify what they mean; “Once.”  Lather, rinse and repeat once.”  There it is.  Something that makes much more sense.  They certainly did not mean to keep washing your hair repeatedly until it all fell out.

To me instructions on things like shampoo were put on because some fool drank the shampoo since there were no directions about how to use it.  That prompted a note from the legal department saying something to the effect of “For God’s sake tell the morons who buy our products how to use them so we don’t get sued again.”  Marketing recognizing a opportunity decides that if one washing is good then more will be better and thus the “repeat” is born.  It is shocking that legal has not jumped all over them for that one.

I just bought a new lemon scented bottle of 409 cleaner.  It smells very realistic and lemony.  I wonder if anyone has sprayed it on his or her fish or in their iced tea?  I have not noticed a warning reading “Not real lemon, do not eat.”

What I think American corporations need are not more Legal or Marketing departments, but a Department of Common Sense.  Most of us can figure out the obvious use of a product as long as we know what it is.  So rather than take up vital real estate on shampoo bottles with unneeded instructions consider putting the word “Shampoo” in a font large enough for us to read without glasses because I just have not yet found a shatter-proof pair of readers to keep in the shower.