The Civilized Way To Go

Thank goodness I am not British or incredibly wealthy because I just don’t need an extra meal during the day. What meal am I talking about? High tea of course. If I had an impressively fabulous metabolism I would vote High Tea as my favorite meal of the day, but alas it is a treat I should only partake in on the day before the end of the world doomsday, tomorrow according to the oh-so-right Mayan calendar.

Carter and I are at Fearington being pampered and enjoying the least healthy snack of the day before I go to Russ’ company Christmas party without him. Somehow it is wrong on so many fronts that I not only had some afternoon snacks of crab salad and scones, but that Russ is stuck in Chicago working while his own Christmas party goes on without him.

Carter and I got to go to the spa before Tea and afterwards she announces how much she dislikes being pampered. “If I tell the girl with the sing-songy voice that I don’t want any cucumber water or a magazine five minutes before, I have not already changed my mind five minutes later,” Carter complains. I am with her there. Some over attentiveness is annoying.

But really the thing that is wrong is eating lunch, having Tea and then going to a dinner party. I need to spread these activities out over a month. Oh yeah, we are having breakfast here too. The apocalypse can’t come fast enough.

There is no way to justify all this excess. If only I could say it is one last hurrah before the world ended. But really, if the Mayans were so smart they would not have been wiped out in the ninth century. Y2k was much more plausible, but that was no excuse to eat either.

So like the band playing as the Titanic went down, I enjoyed High Tea just in case the world does end tomorrow. So to all my friends who will go out of this world with me, it’s been a great ride. I hope you have no regrets, especially that goodie you ate today because no one is going to see us at our funerals. If we all go together we won’t have to worry that people will say, “I’ve seen her look better,” as the look at us in our coffins.