The Need for a New Green Vegetable

When I was a kid my mother told us we always had to have a green vegetable with every dinner or else we would not be able to poop.  Obviously the threat of constipation was a good one because my sisters and I believed that story for a very long time.  In my case it was not until I was in college and went three days without a green vegetable that it dawned on me that the green vegetable story was related to Santa Clause and the threat of blindness from sitting too close to the TV.

I should have caught on earlier because I had a cousin who as a child ate only roast beef and carrots and I never heard her complain once, in fact she grew up to be an actual rocket scientist so the lack of green vegetables did not hold her back in any way.  I have since learned that fiber, not the color green is what is important, but that rule about needing to have at least one green vegetable a day was fairly well ingrained in me.

Today, between getting ready to host a party tomorrow, playing Mah Jongg, and doing some much needed Christmas shopping it dawned on me that I still had to find something for my family for dinner.  I stopped at the Whole Foods to get a bottle of milk, and a green vegetable.  Finding a vegetable that both my child and my husband will eat while keeping it healthy is a difficult task.  Russ hates broccoli and Carter only wants to eat green beans that are over-cooked.  Zucchini can work, but I grew so much of it this summer that we all are taking a break from it.  Asparagus is fine, but it is a little tough this time of year.  I am the only big fan of Brussels spouts and I just could not bring myself to make spinach again.

I looked at what was available and decided to go with broccoli and hope Russ would not bring up my mother’s myth since he might be forced to eat a vegetable of another color.  The crowns of the green trees looked beautiful all stacked together, florets out, in a giant display; in the way only a high priced market might display them.  I approached the tower and gingerly lifted one tree of broccoli from the pile and along with the dark green crown came a stalk the size of a baseball bat and it was three times as heavy as I thought it should be.  The trunk to branch ratio was so out of proportion that I only imagine some Monsanto Food Engineers invented a hybrid plant that grew extra heavy broccoli so that store could earn more selling it.

Despite knowing it was heavy I took the monster-stalked plant to the check out and only after the clerk rang it up for $13.59 did I come to my senses and decline to purchase it.  I think somewhere my husband’s food angel was standing on the scale so he would not have to even smell broccoli at home.

I left the store with only my milk in tow and right before school pick-up I ran into the Harris Teeter to see what they had.  While looking at their broccoli crowns with no stalk, but fairly brown ends I ran into my friend Michelle who was on the same hunt for a green vegetable that I was on.  She settled on zucchini and I unhappily on frozen broccoli.

That was when it dawned on me that we need some more green vegetable choices.  Somebody invented broccolini in 1994, which is a cross between broccoli and the Kai-lan cabbage so I know it is possible to create new vegetables.  So scientist of the world, lets get on it.  Michelle and I can’t be the only ones who are wandering the produce sections like zombies in search of inspiration.  There is money to be made on a new green vegetable or two or three.