Dana’s Bra Strap Shortening Station

This morning while at a meeting with a group of female friends we invariably got off subject and turned the discussion to bras.  I know that you men will be thrilled to learn that women are sitting around talking about bras, but get your minds out of the gutter.  We were not sitting around in only our bras talking.

The topic was the importance of the right bra and how it makes you look thinner and therefore younger.  For those of us for whom support was an issue we quickly narrowed the conversation from bras in general to bra straps.

For those of you who either don’t wear a bra or are so young and nubile that your breasts are where you would like them here is a glimpse into the future.

Everyone who has ever seen “What not to wear” or “Oprah” has heard about the importance of the right fitting bra.  No news there.  So when you go to Nordstrom’s and shell out $70 for that perfect bra, fitted by an expert who exclaims that this four hook-underwire-molded cup model is just right you buy it and three or four of the same style in different colors.

All is good in the world.  That is until that bra gets a little tired of hauling your girls up where they have not been in decades.  The answer is to tighten those tired ‘ole straps a little more.  This works until you reach the point that the little tightening do-hickey will not shorted anymore because your strap is at its shortest place.

The worst part about this happening is that by now you love this bra.  It is has molded itself into your actual shape and other than it not lifting as the lift and separate company Playtex told us a bra should do, you would like to keep it.

After much female coffee-klatch discussion on this problem the solution came to me.  A drive thru-bra-strap shortening station.  You could just pull up in your car and a gruff Eastern European woman with a hand held sewing machine could just take those straps up an inch and you will be back at attention.

No more is your belt acting as a bra.  People will notice you have an actual waist and you will not have to hell out multiple $70’s to get new bras whose straps have not given way.

So as soon as I invent the hand-held-bra-strap-sewing machine and hired a bunch of Ukrainians you will see Dana’s Bra Strap Shortening Stations popping up beside 7-11’s around the country.