No Qualifiers for Friends

Sometimes you meet someone and they introduce their friend to you as, “This is my work friend.” I have a friend who sometimes introduces me as, “my student.” There have certainly been many times that I have said someone is “my Mah Jongg friend” or “bridge friend.” In actuality I don’t mean to ever qualify my friends. The best way to introduce someone is just by saying, “this is my friend.” It does not matter how we met, or how we spend our time together, just that we are friends.

There is a wonderful place downtown called Reality Ministries. They are a kind of club house or gathering place for people of differing abilities. Everyone there is called a friend, whether you are a volunteer or a person who goes there for companionship. There is no need to distinguish who anyone is because everyone is just a friend.

If I want to further describe how I know someone or what it is about them that I like I can do that, but it is not necessary in the first sentence I say. Qualifying someone as a certain “kind” of friend lessens them as a friend. In other words, if I say someone is my “bridge friend,” it implies that they might not be my friend if I were not playing bridge with them.

I am trying to remove labels from my friendships. If you are my friend you get all the rights and responsibilities that comes with it. That does not mean that all my friends have to play bridge or Mah Jongg, just that if you do I will probably spend more time with you.

So here’s to my friends, regardless of how we met, or what we do together. Life is just better with you as my friend.